I Can't Just Be Friends
by KatrinaRayne
Summary: Lily Evans has the perfect boyfriend. James Potter wants to be her perfect boyfriend. What events bring them to the point where their love is so great their willing to lay down their lives for each other and their son? NEXT CHAPTER: AUG 7TH
1. Prologue

**Summary:** Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love...**  
**

**Prologue**

"For certain is death for the born  
And certain is birth for the dead."  
- Bhagvad Gita

A sob escaped Lily's throat. She turned her head, trying to block out the present, the past, and the future: everything. Numbness enveloped her like a woolen blanket, until she felt she would suffocate. Lily was drowning in a nightmare, choking on the unbearable silence until time slowed and seemed to still.

Her scarlet hair was currently limp and loose, brushed only on her sister, Petunia's insistence. Her skin was paler than usual, and she had lost so much weight during the past two weeks, that her black silk dress, which fell just past her knees had practically no frame to cling to. There were dark circles under her beautiful eyes of cut jade.

"I'm so sorry, Lily, darling, this was such a horrible thing to happen," her mother's friend, Angie Yorker said gently, patting Lily's hands.

'_If only you knew the rest of it,'_ Lily thought, but she settled for a sad smile and a nod.

She watched in silence, as the last shovel of dirt fell and was patted down. Friends placed flowers on the joint grave – that had always been her parents' last wish. As a symbol of how their love was eternal, they were to be buried together. Of course, neither of them had known they would both be buried at the same time.

After just a short while, people began clearing off, hugging and patting her and Petunia. Many of them were crying. Petunia was crying too. But Lily? She just couldn't cry. She couldn't force out the tears that pressed against her breast, making it difficult to breathe.

Soon, only she, Petunia, Petunia's boyfriend – Archie Polkiss, and Archie's best friend, Vernon Dursley remained. Lily swept over to Petunia. Tears continued to stream down Petunia's face, and she was leaning against Archie, who had his arms around her.

"Now we only have each other left," Lily told her sister softly.

Petunia drew a deep breath and shut her eyes. "Don't say that. What could have happened, Lily? They were so healthy. You know, Dad went for a jog…that morning?"

"No, I didn't know that," Lily replied, feeling a quiver inside her heart. "Should we go home?"

Petunia broke away from Archie and wiped the tears away. Then she put her hands on Lily's shoulders.

"We have no home," she explained quietly.

"What do you mean?" questioned Lily.

"I didn't want to worry you earlier," she said. "I talked to a lawyer, and he told me when Mum and Dad wrote their wills, they split all the money for our education. They haven't paid off the mortgage, which means…we no longer have a home."

Lily's heart plummeted. "They put the money toward _education_? Then where are we going to live?"

"Amanda said we could stay with her," Petunia responded.

Thinking of Petunia's stuffy, extremely boring friends, Lily wrinkled her nose a little.

"Actually, I ought to stay with one of my friends," Lily said, making up an excuse. "Your friends will find it strange when I go to school."

"Why?" Archie spoke up.

"Oh, nothing," Petunia said, brushing him off. "You're probably right, Lily. I don't want to separate from you so early. God knows I see you so rarely during the year."

"Come on," Lily said, tears finally springing to her eyes. "Let's go home and prepare to leave it."

"Let us go," Petunia agreed.

The sisters knelt before their parents' grave and turned to return home, their arms around each other.

**Author's Note:** What did you think of this chapter? Unexpected, I know, in that Lily and Petunia have a good relationship and Petunia is with Archie Polkiss, not Vernon Dursley. Well, you'll just have to see how it progress, then, won't you? ;)


	2. Chapter One: Yesterday's Letter

**Summary**: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... Chapter One: Yesterday's Letter 

**Chapter One: Yesterday's Letter**

"I wrote a letter yesterday,  
Just trying to explain.  
Couldn't find the words to say.  
Because you are so far away."  
-98 Degrees, _Yesterday's Letter_

_Dear Ms. Evans,_

_Please note that the new school year will begin September the first. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross Station, platform nine and three-quarters at eleven o'clock._

_I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected as Head Girl this year. Congratulations. Please remember to go to the Prefects' Compartment of the train, where you and the Head Boy will give the prefects instructions. _

_They (and you) are to patrol the Hogwarts Express and keep an eye out for troublemakers. If you will recall, any of you may give detention to any student, within reason. However, taking away house points is at your discretion, and that of the Head Boy, until you reach the school._

_Upon arriving at Hogwarts, please report promptly to me, and then you may go to the feast._

_A list of books for next year is enclosed._

_Your sincerely,_

_Professor M. McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

_My Dear Lily,_

_I am absolutely appalled upon hearing about what happened to you. You definitely didn't deserve it. Rest assured there will be hell to pay for the bloody bastard who tore your family apart, please pardon the language._

_But how are _you_, my darling? I do hope you are all right and that you understand that I would be with you right now if it weren't for my father. I love you very much and wish with all my heart that you were able to stay at my house. Once again, you know how my father is._

_I keep pacing the house like a caged tiger, which results in my father snapping at me. But I can't help it; I am consumed in concern for you._

_Oh, Lily, I am thrilled that this is our last year at Hogwarts. Afterwards, I shall leave my father's house, and buy one of my own. Then I shall marry you and we will live together forever._

_I'm eagerly awaiting your reply, my dear._

_Love,_

_Lucius_

_Dearest Lucius,_

_Honored as I am to be the recipient of your love, please refrain from doing anything drastic. I love you and would be horrified if anything happened to you just because you were avenging _my_ family._

_I'm all right, I suppose. Amirah's parents are wonderful. They've allowed me to stay with them. Chelsea came over too. She was ready to miss the traditional Goodbye Party her family throws her, but I said, "Absolutely not." It's her last Goodbye Party, after all. I must admit, however, it's nice to have so many people care._

_I'm sorry you are worried. What can I say to make you stop?_

_It saddens me to realize this is our last year at Hogwarts, but before I continue, I must go off on a different tangent._

_September twenty-fifth will mark our third year together. Don't you believe we should reveal ourselves to the school? It's now or never, Lucius._

_But I digress. I would love to live with you after Hogwarts (you weren't by any chance proposing, were you? Only joking, darling!)._

_My heart will be at ease only at such a time when you gather me in your arms and our hearts beat together._

_With all my love,_

_Lily_

_My Dear Lily,_

_Don't worry, I won't do anything drastic. But I do wish I could get my hands on the creature that did this to you._

_I'm glad you're all right, and I'm glad so many people care about you. You know I'm one of them. I don't think anything will ever make me stop worrying about you. I can't help it, but I love you far too much. I hope you can forgive me._

_I suppose I'm sad too. Hogwarts has been my real home for almost seven years. It was the place I met you – how can I not be even a little sad The reason I will be happy when this year is over, is that I will be able to finally leave my father's house._

_About telling everybody, I'm not so sure. I don't give a damn about what they think of me, but you – everybody likes you, and the thought that my love may cause you to be shunned bothers me._

_Perhaps I _was_ proposing. We'll see, won't we, love?_

_Only five more days until my eyes behold the beauty of my Lily._

_Love,_

_Lucius_

_Dear Lucius,_

_I apologize profusely, but this had to be a very quick letter._

_I, too, worried about the consequences of revealing ourselves to the rest of the school. But we must take the risk. We are seventh years – the role models of the younger students. Our relationship may change the future for Gryffindors and Slytherins. We can open a vein of possibilities. We will leave behind a legacy, for which we will forever be remembered. Just show the same sweet caring you display in your letters and when we are alone. That way, nobody will say a word._

_By the time this letter reaches you, it'll be about time to return to Hogwarts. Therefore, you may not have time to reply. If you don't, I will see you there, my love._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Dear Lily,_

_How are you? I'm all right here at Amanda's house. I miss you so much. And of course I miss Mum and Dad. Please, Lily, don't stop writing me. We can't allow the remainder of our family to be destroyed._

_Love,_

_Petunia_

_Dear Petunia,_

_I miss you too. Don't worry, I'll keep writing. I'll have more time to write once I get to school. I'll do whatever is in my power to keep this family together._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Dear Moony,_

_How are the hols going? Well, I hope. Both Padfoot and I wish you could've come and stayed at my house. Sorry you got in trouble. Sorrier you got in trouble because of us._ _That isn't even a sentence._

_Anyway, sorry for not writing earlier. James had his head in the clouds._ _What are you talking about? You know I'm right. You've been thinking about Lil- Have not! You're completely in love. Well, it isn't as though you haven't been thinking about Cerise. So, what if I have? At least I'll admit it. And we have a casual relationship. Casual? You two are always over each other! But, _you,_ my friend are madly in love with Ms. Evans. Are you ever going to approach her? __I _have_ approached her, remember? But if you recall, she _rejected_ me multiple times! That was then. This is now!_

_Hey, sorry about this, too, Moony. Well, at least you got plenty of information about how our summer has been._ _I caught him writing a poem to Lily. I almost died of laught-_ _My god, Padfoot, you don't have a romantic bone in you. I don't see how any girl is attracted to you._ _Sex appeal. What else?_ _Er...right. Maybe we should wrap this up.__I suppose._

_We'll see you at school, Moony. And don't be fooled - we haven't been having a great time at my house. I promise._

Bye-  
Prongs _and Padfoot_

_Dear Prongs and Padfoot,_

_Sounds like you two are having a good time. That's all right. I don't mind. Without you two around, I can get some serious studying done. I've finished all our summer homework and read everything that is going to be on N.E.W.T.S. I still have a lot of studying left, I'm afraid, but if I begin now, I'll be ready for N.E.W.T.S._

_Would you believe it if I said I got a letter from a _girl_ this summer? Chelsea Tamblin, coincidently one of Lily's best friends. You'd better hurry up and ask Lily, Prongs. You and Wormtail are the only two without a girlfriend (and I heard that Hufflepuff sixth year, Helga Famboni has "the hots" for Wormtail, as Cerise would say). Your reputation is at stake, Prongs!_

_I should probably return to studying. See you at school._

_Your friend,  
Moony  
_

_  
Dear Moony,_

_Studying? How can you be studying during the summer?__Ouch. I'm sorry. I didn't think your parents would be that harsh. Oh no, wait. You decided to study of your own free will! Are you mad?_ _More than mad, Padfoot. He's insane.__I'll say_.

_You said a girl wrote you a letter? Well what did you expect? A __frog? It's about time you realized how that girl feels about you. Chelsea Tamblin, eh? Good catch, Moony. You'll have to teach me your trick, you sly dog.__He doesn't have a trick. Girls are attracted because he doesn't chase after them._ _I don't chase after girls. They chase after me._ _Oh, _right_ the way you didn't chase after Cerise._

_We can't wait to see you and Wormtail at school, Moony._ _Speaking of Wormtail, who's Helga?_ _I don't know. Some Hufflepuff._

_Right, so we'll definitely see you at school. Enough, Padfoot! The letter's over now._

_Your friends,  
Prongs_ _and Padfoot_

_Dear Amirah,_

_It's so strange writing you this letter while I'm at your house, but of course we can't allow Lily to overhear._

_How can Lily not understand that James is perfect for her? She is so dense! We have to get them together somehow! He likes her. It's so obvious, yet she does not see it._

_Well, she will not escape this year! Write back soon, Ami!_

_Love, your friend,  
Chelsea_

_Dear Chelsea,_

_This _is_ strange, but no matter. Lily will kill us if she hears our conversation._

_I think she has selective vision/perception. That would explain why she doesn't see this very cute, very popular, and very sweet boy who is dying to date her. We have to open her eyes this year, and we will do it by any means necessary!_

_You're absolutely right! She will not escape this year!_

_Good night,  
Amirah_

**Sneak-peek Chapter Two: **

James gazed at her, and lifted his hand, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a surprisingly gentle gesture.

"It'll be all right, though," he promised softly. "It always is."

His breath was chilly against her cheek, as though he had just eaten a mint, and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin

**Author's Note: **Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think (did you hate it? love it?). No flames, please!_  
_


	3. Chapter Two: We All Need Some Lovin'

**Summary**: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note:**

**HarryxJames:** The quote for this chapter is dedicated to you (it's finally on your iPod!)

**potter is hotter:** Haha, yes, conflict…laughs evilly

**xXXx: **Aww, that's really sweet. Thanks. I hope this story lives up to your standards (it's so much better written than _The Flipside of Forever_ – I cringe whenever I read that now)

**A Beautiful Letdown:** I hope it'll get clearer! Otherwise send me an e-mail and I'll elaborate for you.

**Man eating plant:** You'll just have to wait and see…you'll just have to keep reading ;)

Thanks to **freshie**, **Jean DARK**, **phoenix**, and **ShadowOnTheMoon** for your reviews!

**Chapter Two: We All Need Some Lovin'**

"There's no one above itWe all need some lovin'  
Some kissin' and huggin'  
Like yeah, yeah, yeah."  
-Raghav, _Angel Eyes_

"Thank you, Mr. Gavankar. Thank you, Mrs. Gavankar," Lily told them softly. "You didn't have to let me stay with you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Mrs. Gavankar chided. "You can always come to us if you need anything."

"Yeah, or my family," Chelsea promised with her usual sweet smile.

"You guys are the greatest," Lily said, sucking in her cheeks to hold back a sob.

All three young ladies were attractive enough to draw the attention of passersby, and modest enough to not notice the glances thrown at them.

Since the day of her parents' funeral, Lily's hair tumbled to her shoulders like a sparkling silky veil. Her eyes were now bright and set above prominent cheekbones. Some of the sadness had faded. She had regained a bit of her weight, making her slender and curvy.

Amirah Gavankar could hardly have been more different with glossy hair, blacker than midnight of Pluto cascading down to her lower black. Lily was a little envious of the attractive golden tone of her skin. Her eyes were two onyx stones, although they held more warmth than the actual stones. She was taller than Lily, and was very elegant and graceful.

Chelsea Tamblyn was petit and cutesy with curly fawn hair and blue eyes. She was always jealous of her friends' looks, although they told her she, herself, beautiful. She had an almost painfully thin body, which worried her two best friends, but considering the fact that she could usually eat more than Lily and Amirah combined and not spend time in the bathroom afterwards, they thought they should let it go.

"Come on, Lily," Amirah said, gesturing to the scarlet train that stood on the tracks impatiently, spewing gray smoke everywhere.

Lily nodded, but took a moment to gaze around the station.

There was that raffish Sirius Black chasing after Ms. America herself, Cerise Kayne. Lily rolled her eyes and turned elsewhere.

James Potter seemed to be having a deeply serious discussion with Remus Lupin. How Remus had gotten into that crowd, she didn't think she'd ever know. James, Sirius, and Peter were troublemakers. She secretly called them the Marauders. But back to Remus – he was so decent and mature; so much like her, actually, which once again, was why she didn't understand why he was a friend of _James Potter_ of all people. Her opinion, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that she had once had a teeny little crush on Remus.

As she continued to watch, Remus looked up and waved in her direction. Her astonishment grew as Chelsea raised her hand and waved back.

"_What_ was that?" Lily demanded.

Chelsea blushed furiously. "Well, I sorta sent him a letter, telling him that I, well, fancy him."

"Wow, Chelsea," commented Lily, impressed. "I didn't know you had the gall."

"Well, I do," Chelsea said with faux defiance.

Lily laughed and a flash caught her eye. Glancing over, she saw something that made her heart flip-flop.

It was Lucius, and he looked so much more attractive then he had when they had parted in June. His short, sleek blonde hair had become a lighter white-blonde and slightly longer, the tips of it brushing his shoulders now, and eyes were intensely gray. Quidditch practice over the summer had tightened his washboard abs.

Catching sight of her, he nodded slightly, a slight smile curving up the corners of his mouth.

She didn't mind, though. When they were alone together, he would more than make up for it.

She let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. Despite everything that had happened during the summer, her heart felt lighter, and her chest swelled with joy. She would be returning to Hogwarts. She would soon be back home!

"Lily, come _on_," Amirah called again with a groan. "Do you want to miss the train?"

_That_ snapped her out of her reverie.

"Of course not," Lily responded briskly, then softened her tone. "Goodbye, Mr. And Mrs. Gavankar."

"Goodbye, dear. Remember, if any of you three need anything, don't hesitate to let us know," Mrs. Gavankar told them.

"It was a pleasure having both of you over," added Mr. Gavankar.

"Mom, Dad, only five minutes. We have to _go_," Amirah complained.

"All right, all right, goodbye."

Lily and her friends waved and filed into the train along with the other students.

"Listen, you two, I have to sit in the Prefects' Compartment. I'll see you at Hogwarts, all right?" she asked.

Chelsea and Amirah exchanged glances before turning back to her.

"Sure," Chelsea said. "See you then."

'_What was that all about?'_ Lily wondered with a pang that she identified a moment later: _jealousy_.

What would Amirah and Chelsea want to talk about without her? They didn't seem to be upset that she couldn't sit with them. And the two of them had never been without her for very long. What was this about?

After all, she had known Chelsea all her life. Then, when first year rolled around, Chelsea's parents had moved to France, where she attended Beauxbatons for a year. That was when Lily made friends with Amirah. When Chelsea had transferred back, it had been a happy reunion, and Amirah and Chelsea had become friends – but not without _her_. She had always been there.

Trying to shrug off the feeling of loneliness and convince herself that it was only because of the events of the summer that she felt this way, she continued to the Prefects' Compartment, which was currently empty. Hoisting it up, she made sure it was safely stowed away before taking a window seat.

"Lily is a major idiot," Chelsea said with an exaggeratedly tragic sigh and a shake of her head.

"Well, James is no Einstein either," said Sirius, twirling a strand of Cerise's blonde hair around his finger.

He was seated across from Chelsea, his arm around Cerise. Peter sat beside him. Remus was beside Chelsea, and Amirah was on Chelsea's other side.

"Does the conversation always have to go to Lily and James?" complained Cerise. "I mean, I love both of them, but we have to talk about us, too, sweetie pie."

"Why can't she just admit that James is perfect for her?" Chelsea continued as though she hadn't heard Cerise.

Cerise had always been a pretty big annoyance for her, and she often wondered what Sirius saw in her – until she remembered Cerise's Barbie doll-body, that is, complete with blonde hair and baby blue eyes. Cerise was a "shallow beauty" as Chelsea's mother would say. Lily and Amirah on the other hand, were true beauties in Mrs. Tamblyn's book.

"I'd like to think that too," Remus said, "but perhaps they aren't meant for each other. Maybe it's just some silly notion we all have."

"But _all_ of us feel this way," Chelsea argued. "I'm positive they're meant to be." It was kind of nervous-making, but nice to sit with her arm hooked around Remus's. She'd liked him for so long!

Chelsea chuckled a little to herself when she recalled how Lily had fancied Remus in second year and fretted about it the whole time. When she finally got over him, Chelsea had begun to like him, and about two-and-a-half years later, she still liked him. And to think she was with him now! With everything going on in her life…she didn't even like to think about it…she had never thought any boy could love her.

"We should set them up," Sirius said with a laugh. "It would be entertaining and fulfill our purpose."

"So our purpose in life is to get Lily Evans and James Potter together?" Amirah said, raising an eyebrow.

"Naturally," Sirius joked. "Come on Wor-er-Peter, say something witty."

Peter stared at him blankly. "Er…"

The compartment door slid open just then. A Hufflepuff girl traipsed in. She was very small and thin. A pair of glasses perched on the edge of her nose, giving her a cute, intellectual look (although everyone knows Hufflepuffs aren't intellectual – quite the opposite, in fact). Her hair was brownish, straight, and a bit tiny bit limp. Two brown eyes searched the compartment.

"There you are, Peter," she said in a soft, gentle voice.

Peter whitened and then pink spread through his chubby cheeks. "Oh, hi, Helga."

Sirius and Remus exchanged grins, and Sirius nudged Peter sharply. Peter got up quickly and squeaked, "Why don't we – er – step into the hallway?"

They left and everybody burst into laughter.

"Well, well, Lily Evans, Head Girl, not surprising at all," came a voice.

She looked up quickly to see mesmerizing hazel eyes, framed by round glasses watching her. The guy had windswept-looking burnt sienna hair that he constantly ran his hands through. Lily lowered her eyes, and they widened of their own accord as they noticed, for the first time, his chiseled abdomen.

"Well, well, James Potter, Head Boy, very surprising," she responded sardonically, ignoring the quickening of her heartbeat.

He shrugged one shoulder. "True, I suppose. Mind if I sit here?"

She was about to say yes, but a fifth year prefect entered the compartment, so she shook her head and went back to looking out the window as he plopped down beside her.

More slightly nervous-looking fifth years shuffled into the compartment, followed by sixth years and some seventh years.

"Come in," James invited, his tone friendly. "We don't bite – most of the time, anyways."

"James," warned Lily, rolling her eyes.

"Only joking," he said. "But honestly. All of you have been here at least five years. What's there to be nervous about?"

Lily watched the easy grin on his face, and the way it made the new prefects instantly relax. He had natural people skills, admittedly. James Potter was a born leader.

"Lily - " he began, once they had told the prefects what to do (they were free to sit in another compartment, but they had to patrol the train every once in awhile and report to Lily and James every hour).

"Please," she said with a sigh. "Just leave me alone for once."

"If we're going to be Head Boy and Girl together for a year, we should really learn to get along," James said, raising an eyebrow at her. "So, how was your summer, darlin'?"

Lily stared at the blurred fields they were passing and carefully avoided his eyes.

"Why do you care?" she asked, then mentally berated herself. She was just setting herself up to be asked out by him yet again.

"I just want to know," he said, looking a little surprised. He smiled slightly then. "No ulterior motives. I promise. "

Lily searched his face for a trace of insincerity, but was unable to find any, so she decided to continue.

"Okay then. We'll call a truce then just until the end of this year."

He nodded. "Truce. That sounds good."

"In response to your question, my summer was not so good. My parents…they…well…" she trailed off, her voice thickening with emotion.

"I'm sorry," James said softly. "I know how that feels."

"You do?"

She whipped her head around and turned to him, startled. James nodded, staring at his hands.

"My – my dad died just last year," he explained.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, drawing in a deep breath. She had acted so horrible to him last year. Then again, he hadn't acted as though a parent had died.

"_Potter!" Lily cried, slipping into his arms._

"_Our plan worked!" Potter told Black with a grin. "That just made my day."_

"_Shut your mouth," Lily groaned. She straightened up and took stock of her surroundings._

_Some greenish slime covered the second floor hallway, and the miserable victims of the prank all seemed to be Slytherins. Every time one tried to stand, he or she immediately slid back down in an ungainly heap._

"_What have you guys done now?" she moaned. "Really, Potter. You should grow up by now."_

"_Aww, come on, love," said Black, knowing exactly how much it irked her when he called her that. "Lighten up a little. Learn to enjoy life."_

"_I try," Lily said. "Then you guys come along and ruin everything."_

"_Sorry, darlin', we didn't mean to hurt you," Potter said with mock sincerity._

"_Sod off, Potter," snapped Lily. "You two better get this mess cleared up pronto."_

"_And if we don't?" Black questioned, wiggling his eyebrows._

"_It's off to detention, then," Lily said calmly, "without those bloody mirrors of yours."_

_She attempted to hide the triumphant grin stretching across her face. Those two had no idea she had known about those mirrors since fourth year._

_To her fury, neither looked very astonished._

"_You've always been clever, darlin,'" said Potter. "So, will you go out with me?"_

_Lily didn't dignify him by looking at him and said, "Detention, Potter and Black!"_

"What are you thinking about?" James asked.

"My parents," she said quickly. "And my sister."

James gazed at her and lifted his hand, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a surprisingly gentle gesture.

"It'll be all right though," he promised softly. "It always is."

His breath was chilly against her cheek, as though he had just eaten a mint, and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.

_This_ was the immature James Potter! Since when had he grown up so much?

The compartment door opened. A Ravenclaw prefect walked in an froze at the sight of them with their heads close together and James's hand on Lily's cheek.

Lily pulled away, a flush rising in her cheeks. "Yes?"

"Some Slytherins are hexing anyone who walks by their compartment," she said. To prove her point, the girl turned to reveal a scaly green tail protruding from her rear end.

"Let me handle this," James said with a mischievous grin.

"Actually, maybe I should take care of it," Lily said quickly, throwing him a warning glance.

James shrugged. "Suit yourself."

**Sneak-peek of Chapter Three:**

"Listen, Lily," James said. "When we go to Hogsmeade…do you want to go together?"


	4. Chapter Three: When the Boy Smiles

Summary: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note:** Thank you sooo much for the reviews! They made me so happy I decided to upload this chapter before school gets out (I've actually written up until the seventh chapter already). I love you all

**Celina Black:** Thanks, hon! You're review made my day (that and getting editor of my school's literary magazine!). Your suggestions were awesome, thanks!

**Celina K2:** People's thoughts never bore me unless they're intensely boring (which yours are not) or if they're about quantum physics or whatever. If you write that fic, definitely let me know! I want to read it!

Thanks to **Jean DARK**, **Lafawnduh4**, **Beauty-On-The-Run11**, and **HarryxJames**!

**Author's Note:** I forget to mention, actually, that I changed Candy's name to Cerise and I'm going to re-upload the first two chapters with her name changed. That's all!

**Chapter Three: When the Boy Smiles**

"But my god, it's so beautiful  
When the boy smiles.  
Wanna hold him,  
But maybe I'll just sing about it."  
-Anna Nalik, _Breathe_

As the train reached Hogwarts, Lily pressed her cheek against the icy glass and watched the gigantic castle draw closer. She drew in a deep breath, unable to believe it was her last year here. Then she would no longer be a Hogwarts student.

When Lily and James entered the horseless carriage, she was at first astonished and alarmed that she was able to see the thestrals. That was, of course, before she recalled the summer's events…

"So, we have to report to McGonagall, eh?" James said.

"_Professor_ McGonagall," Lily corrected. "Yes."

"Let's go then, shall we?" he asked, once they reached the front of the school.

Warm tingles washed up Lily's arms once she was inside the familiar entrance hall once again. She gazed all about her and the portraits and the stairs as she followed James to Professor McGonagall's office.

Sirius couldn't believe the stab of sadness he felt upon entering the castle.

"I'm really going to miss this place," he murmured.

"Me too," Cerise said. "You'd better hope I can get a job in the U.K., or else I'll have to move back to America...away from you."

"That's a shame," Sirius said.

"You don't even care!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe you, Sirius."

"I'm sorry, okay, love? I'm sorry," he said, planting a quick kiss on her lips. "I just can't believe this is our last year at Hogwarts. The thought is horrible."

"I know," she agreed again. "Come on, Sirius."

"Where are Lily and James?" he asked, looking around.

"Probably went off somewhere," she said carelessly. "Come on, Sirius, let's _go_!"

He rolled his eyes. Cerise was so frustrating at times. Always a good kisser, often sweet, but sometimes frustrating. Then he smiled. The two of them were such a strange, but famous combination.

The smile faded at the thought. Over the summer, James had thought Sirius was constantly thinking about Cerise, but that wasn't true at all. In fact, horrible as it was, he was starting to get tired of her. The only reason he stayed with her was because of their reputation and the fact that she had a very nice body.

"Good evening, Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said crisply. "Now, your Head Boy and Girl duties: as I mentioned in the letter, both of you have the right to give and take house points, but only teachers may give detention. Both of you are expected to set an example for the students –" at this she glared at James "-and Professor Dumbledore reserves the right to change the Head Boy, or even Head Girl at my recommendation, or that of another professor. The two of you are expected to patrol the corridors from ten to midnight from Sunday to Thursday, except when your N.E.W.T.s come around. Then you will be expected to be back in the Gryffindor Common Room at the very least, although you may prefer to be in the Head Common Room. Any questions?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," Lily said. "What do you mean by 'Heads' Common Room?'"

"The Head Common Room is pretty self-explanatory," she responded briskly. "There's the common room and a dorm for each of you. You can arrive there from any of the four common rooms in Hogwarts. From the Gryffindor Tower, you just go up past the boy's dormitories and you will come to a door. That's the entrance to the Head Common Room. Any other questions?"

"What's the password for Gryffindor and what's the password for the Head Common Room?"

"Oh, right. Pestiferous is Gryffindor's password and ratiocination for the Head Common Room. Now, hurry off to the feast. I have to see to the prefects and then the first years."

James and Lily left her office and then hurried to the Great Hall. The ceiling was a canvas of brilliant, deep violet, sprinkled with glittering stars. She scanned the Gryffindor Table for her friends – and found them.

Chelsea was sitting beside Remus, and Amirah was seated across from them. Beside Amirah, there was an empty space and then Sirius, and beside him was Cerise. Peter sat across from Sirius.

Lily went over to Amirah, and James followed. She slid into the seat beside her friend, and James sat beside her.

"So, was it absolute torture, spending the entire train ride with him?" Amirah whispered to her.

Lily thought back for a moment. "No," she said with surprise. "It wasn't, actually."

"Really?" Amirah said rhetorically, raising an eyebrow.

"Really what, honey?" James asked, grinning at them.

"Sod off, Potter," Lily said, almost jokingly.

"Why should I, Evans?" he retorted, his eyes crinkling teasingly at the corners.

"Yeesh," said Amirah, rolling her eyes. "You two."

"I heard some news that might be interesting to you, James," Peter spoke up eagerly. He was always like that mousy and eager to please his three friends.

Nobody paid him much attention, except for James, who promptly turned to him.

"Yes?"

"I heard that Snivellius joined the Death Eaters," he said.

Everyone looked up at that – even Sirius and Cerise stopped their snogging to look at Peter, openmouthed (Cerise with her pink lipstick smeared, and Sirius with his mouth stained from his girlfriend's lipstick).

"Who told you that?" Remus asked calmly.

"I heard some Slytherins talking about it," Peter responded. Then he lowered his voice, "and I _saw_ the Dark Mark."

James and Sirius exchanged dark glances.

"Death Eaters?" said Chelsea. "Please explain."

"You-know-who's followers, I guess you could say," Remus told her quietly. "You're lucky you don't know who they are."

"Please, let's not talk about this," James said, not in a very pleading tone.

The feast ended then, and they had to cut their conversation short because James and Lily and to go to the head of the Gryffindors and lead the first years.

After they entered the Gryffindor Common Room and smiled at the first years' exclamation, they went up the boys' staircase and reached the carved stone door that led to the Head Common Room. An ivory and rose quartz angel, tilted slightly to the right with raised wings was inset in the door.

"Password?" she asked sweetly.

"Ratiocination," Lily said.

The door swung open to reveal the Head Common Room. The walls were a pale, creamy shade, made warmer by the flickering light from the flames licking at the hearth. A window of Bohemian glass, framed by fancy frosted glass glittered on the wall. On either side of the window was a long planter running along the wall, filled with roses, lilies, Peruvian lilies, star jasmine, and sprigs of lavender. Several off-white leather sofas and ottomans were elegantly arranged around a mahogany coffee table. A decorative crystal ashtray sat in the center of the table, a single pink lily in the center of it. There were two mahogany desks with fauteuils rather than chairs. Under it all was white plush carpeting that appeared so soft Lily had to slip off her sandals and feel it with her bare feet.

She turned to the right and walked into the room that was obviously the Head Girl's dormitory, judging by the décor. The walls were pastel pink and romantic. A large canopy bed with a thin white veil stood in the center. Thick white and pink covers were neatly folded onto it, and it looked so comfortable and warm that Lily just wanted to dive in and curl up. There was a shelf under which he trunk was situated and a chest of drawers for her to keep her clothes and whatever else. There was a vanity table with a round, silver mirror that was so clear she felt she could reach right through it. There was a door beside the chest of drawers.

She stepped through and came into a bathroom just like the prefects' bathroom, but this was only for her! A round tub was sunken into the white marble ground and numerous golden taps surrounded the edges.

"Quite some place, isn't this?" James asked, startling her. She had forgotten he was there.

"Yes," she responded.

"We get some much room to ourselves and so much quiet time," he said with a slight grin. I suppose it's the perfect place to be alone."

Lily looked at him with alarm.

"I don't mean alone together in _that_ sense," he said hurriedly, then grinned. "I wouldn't mind it, though."

Now she glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"All right, all right," he said. "What I meant is, when we get tired of being amongst crowds and just want to be alone just to rest or whatever, we can always come here."

"Right," she agreed with a grin. "It'll be nice having this place to retire to. It's beautiful."

"Indeed," he said. "Well, I'm going to retire to my dorm now. Good night, darlin.'"

"Good night, James."

"Ready to go, darlin'?" James asked Monday night, when Lily came down into the Common Room.

Lily didn't answer at first. She still felt some aversion toward him, but not in a disgusting way. It was more because of the manner in which he had constantly pestered her about going out with him in the last few years.

Then she nodded pushing her negative emotions aside. "I had no idea this would be so much _work_. With all these N.E.W.T level classes and Head Girl duties, it'll be so difficult to find five minutes to rest."

"Hey, you have nothing to complain about! Soon I'll have Quidditch practice too," James reminded her.

"Right, and you're the captain of that," Lily said with a sympathetic smile. "Then again, I'm in charge of the Charms Clinic and Defense Against the Dark Arts Clinic too."

Clinics were basically what American students would call clubs. Students had the ability to join the clinic for whatever subject interested them, although there was a limit of three clinics per person. There they researched jobs that dealt with the subjects and more information in general. It was a lot more fun than it sounded.

"Speaking of clinics, I was nominated as Head of the Transfiguration Clinic," James said with a grimace. "Can you imagine voluntarily spending more time outside of class with McGonagall?"

"_Professor_ McGonagall, James," Lily corrected. "And yes, because I'm part of the clinic."

"Oh," he said, and paused as they turned the corner. "Well, _Professor_ McGonagall doesn't seem to like me very much."

"And whose fault is that?" asked Lily, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess it's mine," he said with a shrug. "But still. Can you believe it's the last year of clinics?"

Now both of Lily's eyebrows went up, almost into her hair. "You can't be serious!"

"I am," he said. "They're shutting them down. I have no idea why. It's incredibly dark in here, darlin'. Do you want some light?"

"No," Lily replied. "I love being in the dark. By myself, usually, but I don't mind you being here."

"I'm flattered," he said dryly. Then he smiled at her, and it felt nice.

"I especially like being outside in the dark," she continued dreamily. "Somewhere windy with a lot of trees. It feels so electrified and magical – but not in the same way that Hogwarts is magical, you know?"

"Yeah."

"I guess the word I'm looking for is 'ethereal,'" she finished. "It feels ethereal."

"Aren't you afraid of ghosts?" James teased.

"I resent that," came a voice behind them. Both of them turned to see a pearly, luminescent ghost hovering just a couple of feet from them.

"Hello, Nick," Lily said pleasantly. "James didn't mean it like that, did you, James?"

"No, I was just joking, mate," he explained.

"I see," Nick said, a little stiffly. "Peeves is being an absolute nuisance. Sorry about my behavior, but I must hurry off before he finds me."

"Like the wind," Lily said.

With that, Nick left them alone again. Lily and James were both quiet for a moment.

"At first I hoped I would see ghosts," Lily said quietly, "_their_ ghosts. Petunia and I went shopping that day."

James looked at her closely and listened in silence.

"We were having so much fun. The time just flew by. But there was this feeling in the back of my mind, and I…I didn't pay any attention. We went home and…o-our house w-was destroyed-" she took a deep breath "-I was terrified already and I ran into their b-b-bedroom and found them arranged like dummies, Dad at his desk, Mum on the bed with a n-novel in her hand. It was l-like some horrid, devilish form of art. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong. It was as though they were continuing with th-their normal routines and suddenly their hearts just stopped."

"Are you serious?" James said, drawing a sharp breath.

Lily nodded, rubbing at her dry eyes.

"Last year, I found my dad almost the same way – seated in the den, actually," he said quietly. "There was no sign of anything killing them."

"What does that mean?" she asked softly. "Is this some strange new disease?"

"A filthy disease," James growled. "A disease known as 'Death Eaters.' That's how they kill people, Lil. They use the Killing Curse."

"But why my parents?" she asked agitatedly. "They were Muggles. They didn't even _know_ who you-know-who is."

"Darlin', do you think that matters to him?" James questioned a little coldly. "He just likes killing. It's a sport for him, like hunting or something. Only he takes human lives."

"I disapprove of hunting," Lily said meekly.

"So do I," James said, "but that isn't the point. Anyway, let's forget this now, please. I don't want to ruin my mood."

"Okay."

"Listen, Lily," James said. "When we go to Hogsmeade…do you want to go together?"

Lily sighed, knowing it would come to this as always. But surprisingly enough, this time she wasn't annoyed. Maybe because James had proven that he could be a person…

"Sorry, James," she said.

"You still hate me, eh?"

"Surprisingly, enough, no."

"Then what's the problem?" he ventured to ask. Lily chewed her lip, wondering whether or not she should tell the truth to him…

"I have a boyfriend, okay?" she burst suddenly. "Let's go back now. It's midnight."

As she hurried off, James stared after her, appalled. Since when did she have a boyfriend? How had he not known about this guy? And how had this guy managed to snag Lily Evans from right under James's nose?

**Sneak-peek of Chapter Four:**

"Is it James Potter by any chance?" asked Amirah, feigning indifference, but she was obviously interested.

Lily shook her head and drew a deep, shuddering breath. "My boyfriend is…Lucius Malfoy."


	5. Chapter Four: It\'s My Life

Summary: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note:**

**Man eating plant:** I don't think I've posted this chapter before. Maybe you read the first version of it (_Together Forever_)

**OTHCharmedHPFreak:** It'll all work out, I promise.

**Jean DARK:** I like Cerise a lot better too. It means "cherry" in French, but you probably already knew what, because of your name

**HarryxJames:** Don't worry! I'll review (I'm still SO happy!)

**Celina Black:** Thanks for the critique darling! It's definitely been very helpful and I'm not offended at all!

I love you guys!

**Chapter Four: It's My Life**

"It's my life  
Don't you forget  
Caught in the crowd  
It never ends."  
-No Doubt, _It's My Life_

That night Lily slept fitfully in her warm, Head Girl bed, continually tossing and turning at night.

_She is running through the Forbidden Forest to Lucius, wanting to be enveloped in his strong arms. There is a smile on his face, but as she gets closer, she sees the coldness in his smile. Suddenly, Lucius is no longer there, but in his stead, a tall, cloaked figure that is laughing maliciously, his voice absurdly high-pitched._

_Heart stopping with fear, Lily backs away from him before turning around to flee. The man reaches out in a quick, fluid movement, brushing her arm with long, pale fingers, chilling her to the bones like the touch of Death itself._

_Lily finds it so difficult to move her feet – it is like trying to run through molasses. Stumbling along the ground like a drugged person, her struggling mind comes to the frightening realization that his touch is venomous._

_Gazing around her for help, Lily is surprised and relieved to see her dear sister, Petunia._

"_Help me!" she yells, only it emits from her throat like a croak._

_Petunia draws away from her, face stony, as though Lily is some sort of disfigured leper or something._

"_I'm your sister!" Lily tries to cry. "Help me, Petunia!"_

_But her sister turns and walks away, head held high. Unable to move, Lily falls face forward._

_Opening her eyes, Lily looks around to find herself beside James Potter, of all people. There is a crash from somewhere outside, and James sits up with a start. He stares at her in horror, then jumps out of bed, dashing into the hallway._

"_Take Harry and run!" James commands, his eyes flashing with…fear._

"_What about you?" Lily hears herself cry, wondering where this is coming from. "I can't just leave you!"_

"_Go now!" James pushes her behind him._

_Lily dashes down a dark hallway into a blurry room. She scoops a little baby into her arms and gives him a kiss on the head before setting him back down as she hears two frightful words uttered and sees a flash of green light out of the corner of her eye._

_James…he can't be…_

_Villainous laughter trails the hallway and a familiar, tall, cloaked figure approaches her._

"_Won't you give me the boy, Lily?" he asks._

"_No," she responds bravely, not even really knowing who this boy actually is._

"_Come on Lily, I won't hurt you if you give me the boy."_

"_Never, do you hear me?"_

"_Then I guess I'll have to take him."_

"_No, not Harry," Lily pleads. "Take me instead."_

"Avada kedavara_!" he roars._

_And then there is nothing._

Lily awoke with a start from her painfully lucid, frightening dream, her skin clammy and slick with sweat. What did this all mean? What was the dream anyway? The more she thought about it, the less she could remember it.

For the rest of the night, she had trouble falling asleep.

Unbeknownst to Lily, she wasn't the only one up all night. James had opted to sleep in the seventh year boys' dorm that night and was currently lying awake – then again, so were Remus, Sirius, and Peter. It was sort of a first week ritual for them – staying up the whole night, that is.

"So, what'll we pull this year?" asked Sirius with anticipation. "Spiders in Snivellius's underwear?"

"Hmmm," commented James, not really listening at all.

But honestly, how could Lily have agreed to date some other guy when she had refused him? Did that mean she was really, truly in love with that jerk? And did _that_ mean she would never be in love with him?

Sirius frowned at James, then said craftily, "Or maybe you should do the Mexican hat dance in front of McGonagall and Dumbledore. In the nude."

"Good idea," James said vaguely. "It's Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore, by the way."

Sirius exchanged astonished glances with Remus.

"Prongs? Hello, Prongs? PRONGS!" Sirius practically yelled.

"Huh?" James blinked, snapped out of his reverie.

"What's the matter with you, mate?" Sirius asked. "Why've you been so quiet since you've come back from patrolling the corridors? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've become boring over the summer."

Sirius and Peter gasped with mock terror. Remus just tutted at them.

"But he _is_ right, you know," Remus told James. "You _have_ been awfully quiet all night. Is everything all right?"

"Not really," he replied with a slight sigh. "Did any of you know Lily has a boyfriend?"

"She _what_?" Sirius exploded. He let out a stream of colorful expletives.

"I'll take that as a no," James muttered.

"How could she have a boyfriend when she's madly in love with you?" Sirius asked. "Sure, she doesn't know it yet, but she is, and someday she'll realize it."

"I'm not so sure," James said, running a hand through his hair. "Think about it. Let's say she only said yes to this guy because she didn't want to hurt his feelings. If that's the case, why would she have said no to me?"

He didn't mention it, but he knew that all his friends knew what he was thinking, _'Don't I have feelings too?'_

"Maybe this guy is more sensitive than you. After all, you do give the impression of being above petty emotion," suggested Remus.

"Maybe," he said with another sigh.

Lily woke up the next morning, feeling unrested and scruffy, but unable to remember her dream beyond the fact that there was a baby and Petunia in it – Petunia's baby, perhaps? She brushed her hair and pilled it back into a ponytail but didn't bother doing anything else to it.

She went downstairs to the seventh year girl's dormitory and woke up Amirah, who was still asleep. Chelsea was already gone, her bed neatly made.

Yawning, the two of them went into the Common Room to see Remus and Chelsea looking mighty cozy on a crimson sofa. They were talking in low voices, and Remus was playing with her hands.

When Lily and Amirah went over to them, they stopped talking immediately, and Remus pulled his hands away from Chelsea's almost guiltily.

"Morning," Lily said.

"Morning," they responded.

"Would you mind if I talked to these two alone?" Chelsea asked Remus.

"Absolutely not," he responded, rising and leaving.

"Why didn't you tell us you have a boyfriend, Lily?" Chelsea asked accusingly, her hands on her hips.

"Since when?" exclaimed Amirah, her dark hair falling gracefully around her face.

"_Remus_ of all people told me," Chelsea said, raising her eyes at me. "_You_ should have been the one who told us. Why didn't you?"

"Because you wouldn't understand," she replied agitatedly.

"What are you talking about? We're your best friends. You're our best friend. Why wouldn't we understand?" demanded Amirah.

Lily blinked abruptly , staving off an onslaught of tears. "You just wouldn't, okay?"

"I don't believe this," muttered Chelsea. "We tell you everything, Lily. Don't you trust us?"

"Like you told us about Remus?" Lily snapped. "Okay, I'm sorry, Chelsea. Fine, fine, I'll tell. You'll hate me forever though.

She shut her eyes and sniffed as a few stray tears escaped.

"Is it James Potter by any chance?" asked Amirah, feigning indifference, but she was obviously interested.

Lily shook her head and drew a deep, shuddering breath. "My boyfriend is…Lucius Malfoy."

Both of them just stared at her.

"You're joking…right?" asked Amirah, raising a perfect eyebrow.

"No, see, I _told_ you, you wouldn't understand," exclaimed Lily. "But he's really sweet and loving and wonder full and…"

"And Slytherin," Chelsea said.

"So what?" Lily asked stubbornly.

"You've been here for how long? Almost seven years?" asked Chelsea. "You know enough to know that anyone who has ever been in Slytherin turns out…well, evil."

"It's just a stereotype," Lily said.

"We don't want you to get hurt," Amirah explained in her signature smooth voice.

"I _won't_ get hurt," Lily said, starting to get mad. "I _love_ Lucius, and think you should stop insulting him so much."

"You're on first name terms with him?" exclaimed Chelsea at the same time Amirah asked, "You love him?"

"Yes, we are, and yes, I do," she insisted. "And if you guys can't deal with that…well, that isn't my problem."

With that, she stomped out of the Common Room.

In serious, low voices, Amirah and Chelsea related the entire conversation to James, leaving out the part where Lily said, "I love him."

"She loves him, doesn't she?" James asked stonily.

"You sure she didn't hit her head or start having hallucinations over the summer?" Sirius asked wryly.

"Positive," Chelsea said. "And no, I don't think she loves him."

"Then why did she turn me down and agree to go out with him?" James said quietly.

"Maybe he asked nicely," Chelsea responded. "You have to admit you were a bit of a jerk every time you asked her."

"Was I?" James said. "Yeah, you're right. Why don't we just go down to breakfast?"

Silently, all of them followed him through to Portrait Hole and to the Great Hall.

**Sneak-peek of Chapter Five:**

"I know," Chelsea agreed. "God, we tell her everything – well, almost everything, in any case."

"What secrets are you hiding?" Amirah asked in surprise. What a perfect way to start off their last year at Hogwarts – by finding out her two best friends kept secrets from her.


	6. Chapter Five: Boulevard of Broken Dream

Summary: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note: **Thank you, **Celina Black**, **OTHCharmedHPFreak, xXXx, Jean DARK, and AnjaliMalfoy** for your reviews! Since you are such wonderful people, I couldn't just leave you hanging ).

**Chapter Five: Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

"I walk a lonely road,  
The only one that I have ever known.  
Don't know where it goes.  
But it's only me and I walk alone."  
-Green Day, _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

"I still can't believe this," Amirah sighed, with an elegant shake of her head. "I can't pretend to understand what she sees in Malfoy the Muggle-hater, but what really irks me is that she didn't trust us enough to tell us."

They were in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, waiting for class to begin.

"I know," Chelsea agreed. "God, we tell her everything – well, almost everything, in any case."

"What secrets are you hiding?" Amirah asked in surprise. What a perfect way to start off their last year at Hogwarts – by finding out her two best friends kept secrets from her.

"Oh," Chelsea said with a quick laugh and slight blush, "not big secrets, just little bits of information about our lives. For example, we don't talk about what color underwear we're wearing or whatever."

Amirah smiled. "Yeah, nor do we _want_ to talk about our underwear."

"Who's talking about underwear, love?" Sirius asked, sliding into the desk beside Amirah. Remus sat beside Chelsea and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Not us," she responded with a laugh.

Lily walked in just then, and her face darkened slightly. She looked around and saw Alice Flynn.

"Hi, Lily," Remus said kindly.

"Hi," she responded with surprise. Amirah watched her walk over and sit beside her from the corner of her eye.

"Wait, but what about writing a letter to Remus?" Amirah asked quietly, but accusatorily. "When were you planning on telling us about that?"

"I wanted to _surprise_ you two," Chelsea elaborated. "I wasn't planning on keeping a big secret. You know, I think she was planning on keeping this from us until her wedding day. Or perhaps she would _never_ have told us. Wouldn't that be horrible?"

"Unbelievably so," Amirah said. How long had they known each other exactly? How could Lily do this to them?

"I'm worried about James," Sirius spoke up quietly. "This news has hit him hard."

"He really loves her, doesn't he?" Amirah asked.

Nobody said anything.

"Yeah, he does," Peter said finally.

" 'It's just a little crush. He'll overcome it.' That's what Lily always said," Chelsea told them. "She was so wrong. How can she do this? She just broke the poor guy's heart."

"Where is the poor guy anyways?" inquired Amirah.

"Patrolling the hallways, making sure that everyone gets to class on time," Sirius replied. "He's definitely heart-broken. I mean, he's taking his bloody Head Boy duties seriously."

Amirah looked up at Lily, who was trying to engage Alice in a conversation. Alice was, of course, being Alice, was extremely shy and quiet.

"Yes, poor James, blah, blah, blah," Cerise spoke up impatiently from where she was sitting beside Sirius. "But you guys have to look at things from Lily's point of view too."

Airheaded as she was, Cerise Kayne had the ability to be extremely insightful – that, Amirah had to admit.

"You're right," Amirah said, "and I _would_ look at it from that perspective, but the fact that she just stomped off after telling us and didn't give us even a moment to digest the news; _that_ was what truly bothered me."

"Same here," Chelsea agreed. "We could have supported her – unhappily, but if we understood her feelings, it would have been easier to accept, despite the fact that James has been hurt so much. I mean, we all know about this ability she has to always see the good in people. But she just left. Now she's giving us the cold shoulder."

"All right, student," Professor Smartt said loudly, walking in. "Open your books to page eight. Class is beginning now."

"My friends won't talk to me," Lily told Lucius. "You were right."

"I'm sorry," he said, stroking her cheek with a long finger. "I understand if you want to break up."

"No way!" she exclaimed, her eyes flashing. "I _know_ what you're like. I know you're sweet and amazing. They don't know it. I'm not going to break up with you and give them the satisfaction of knowing they're right, because they're _wrong_."

"I love you, Lily," Lucius said softly, kissing her gently.

"I love you too," she said, looking down and blinking. "I have to go – patrol, you know."

"Yeah," he said. "Is Potter talking to you?"

"Not at all," Lily said with a sigh. "But you hate him, right?"

Lucius shrugged. "So what? He's your friend. I don't want you friend to not talk to you."

'_He _is_ my friend,'_ Lily realized with a start. Aloud she said, "Well, I _do_ have to go now. Good night, Lucius."

"Good night, Lily."

She left the Room of Requirement, as she and Lucius referred to the little room they met in and hurried back to the Gryffindor Tower before anyone realized she wasn't there – not that they would care. Except for Cerise and Alice. They were still talking to her.

"About time," James said crabbily, once she returned. "Where were you? Off sleeping with Malfoy, perhaps?"

"See?" Lily said. "That's the sort of thing that made me hate you so much in the first place."

"I'm hurt," he said sardonically. "Let's just go, okay?"

They patrolled in silence for the first hour.

"Do you hear that?" James asked, suddenly.

Lily listened, and sure enough, could hear low cries – like someone in pain. "Should we investigate?"

"Naturally."

Seemingly without thinking, James ushered Lily behind him, almost protectively. He crept forth and pressed his head against the cold walls. He glanced at her triumphantly and put his door on the handle. Pushing it open, he jumped in the way, his wand held out. Lily followed quickly.

A Ravenclaw sixth year girl and Hufflepuff fifth year boy were in an awkward position on a desk of the unused classroom, their robes strewed across the floor. The boy's triumphant cry died away as he caught sight of them, and he blushed profusely before pushing himself off the girl and thrusting her clothes at her. She covered herself, her face twice as crimson as his.

Lily and James exchanged amused glances. It made Lily's heart melt in relief to see the laughter in his eyes as he looked at her and then looked back at the couple.

"Well, looks like some people are getting lucky tonight," James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

The Ravenclaw girl quickly pushed the Hufflepuff guy away and strained up, her face still a brilliant pink.

"James! We were just…it was nothing serious," she said breathlessly. "I swear."

"But you said – " began the guy.

"Just a bit of fun," she interrupted earnestly. "He doesn't have to be the only one who has fun."

Lily stifled a laugh.

"Sorry, kids," James said.

Lily couldn't help but grin at the expression on the Ravenclaw's face. She seemed ready to strangle Lily…or the Hufflepuff guy, or herself even. It was so obvious that she had a crush on James – and Lily was positive James wasn't at all oblivious to that fact.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw and ten from Hufflepuff," he continued, then addressed the girl, "If I catch you at it again, it'll be fifty points and a little trip to the Headmaster's office."

Now she seemed ready to cry. Despite everything she had done, Lily couldn't help but feel instantly sorry for her.

"James," she said. "Don't be so mean –" she turned to the girl "- I'm sorry, but he's right. Now hurry off to your respective common rooms and get some sleep."

The girl stomped by them, followed by the guy.

Lily looked at James, wondering if he had melted a little, at least. She couldn't believe how upset she had been when James had stopped talking to her – and they had only _really_ talked two-odd times.

"So, we're almost done," Lily ventured, "do you have any homework left?"

"No," he said shortly. "We should report to Professor McGonagall and go back to the Gryffindor Common Room."

"Okay," she agreed meekly.

"Mr. Potter, I'm surprised at you," Professor McGonagall said sharply once they entered her office.

James looked slightly alarmed, and furrowed his eyebrows as though he were thinking about something.

She softened her voice and actually smiled, "I have to admit, I wasn't sure you would be able to handle being Head Boy. You're doing a great job of it, though."

So, after talking to Professor McGonagall, they returned to the Gryffindor Tower in a tense silence.

James refused to look at hurt or even acknowledge her presence. Once again, Lily found herself amazed that his anger cut more than skin deep. But it had been…fun talking to him that day. Also, it was strange how she missed James calling her "darlin'." When she thought about, he called many girls "honey," but she was the only he ever called, "darlin'." And now he had stopped doing that. Had she really hurt him so much?

"Listen, James," Lily said suddenly, cutting in front of him and not allowing him to go to his dorm once they reached the Head Common Room.

"Move, please, Lily," he said, sounding exhausted, more than angry.

"I just want you to hear this first," she said. "This is my life and I'm sorry if it doesn't match up with your life. I really am. I really like you, James. You're an amazing friend, and I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before. But in this sense…romance will never work out between the two of us, because we're too different. I'm sorry, James, I really am."

"Are you done?" he asked in a chillingly calm voice.

"Yes," she responded, taking a deep breath.

"Good," he said. "Good night, Lily. Have a nice life."

**Sneak Peek Chapter Six:**

"Lucius!" Lily exclaimed, upset. "That was…we shouldn't…you can't…"

She stopped and took a deep breath.

Lucius looked at her, visibly alarmed and perturbed. "What, Lily? Is it because Potter walked by?" He said "Potter" with a note of disgust.

"No, well, yes," she responded miserably. "It is."

**Author's Note:** Next update on Sunday, June 19!


	7. Chapter Six: Mirror Your Intentions

**Summary:** Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note: **I edited a couple of chapters, so you may want to go back and take a look at chapter three so you aren't confused about this chapter.

**Jean DARK:** Thank you SO much!

**AnjaliMalfoy:** I love that song too! And yes, I'll definitely answer those questions (Great America rocked, rocked, ROCKED! I'm sorry you're bored in NY! I personally can't wait to go to NY!)

**xXXx:** Thanks! I hope you didn't miss the underlying hints in this chapter… ;)

**OTHCharmedHPFreak:** I'll update in a week!

**Celina Black:** He was mad the whole time, but it's kind of hard not to be amused when you find someone in an embarrassing or funny position, but once his amusement wore off, he was pretty ticked again.

**Chapter Six: Mirror Your Intentions**

"Like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intentions  
Oversized, overwhelmed,  
The shine of which has caught my eye  
And rendered me so  
Isolated, so motivated."  
-Dashboard Confessional, _Vindicated_

She passed through the Portrait Hole and went up the stairs to her Head Girl dormitory.

"That you, Lils?" came Cerise's voice.

"Yeah," Lily replied, her voice soft.

"Mind if I talk to you?"

"Not at all." She gave a bitter laugh. "You're probably the only one who would willingly talk to me right now."

"Besides Remus," Cerise agreed. "He's always so nice to you. Do you think he has the hots for you?"

"Don't even say that!" Lily exclaimed. "That's blasphemy! You know he and Chelsea are going out."

"Yeah." She was quiet for a moment. "Can you come in our dorm, please?"

"Sure," Lily said. "Wait, Amirah and Chelsea…"

"They're asleep," Cerise assured her. "Come on."

Lily went inside and shut the door behind her. She then sat at the edge of Cerise's bed and asked, "What's going on?"

"Sirius and I decided we should see other people. Well, he suggested it and I agreed because I didn't want to seem too desperate."

"Oh," Lily said, furrowing her eyebrows. "So you aren't too happy about it, huh?"

"Of course not," Cerise said miserably. "Do you think he likes someone else?"

"I don't know," Lily said honestly, "but if he does, good riddance!"

Cerise shrugged. "It isn't that simple. I think that you, Amirah, and Chelsea get annoyed with me a lot of the time, but I'm not as dumb as I seem."

Ouch. That was really harsh. "Maybe a little," Lily said tentatively, "but I never _disliked_ you. You have the tenacity to be very sweet and insightful. You have a good, investigative brain on your shoulders."

"I still care about him," Cerise continued softly. "At least I think I do."

"This doesn't help at all," Lily said. "But he's a jerk."

"No, that doesn't help," Cerise said flatly. "Quite honestly, I don't see what you have against him."

Lily shut her eyes and breathed in deeply. "Neither do I. I know you care about him, but maybe you _should_ try dating other people. Maybe you'll see that you like someone better than him."

"Maybe," Cerise agreed. "But besides Sirius, the only hot guys at this school are James, who's taken by you-"

"He is not!" Lily said indignantly, and regretted it instantly. She didn't _want _Cerise to make a move on him for some reason.

"And Malfoy, but he's yours too," continued Cerise, ignoring her remark. "Plus, he's a Slytherin, and no offense, but I don't date Slytherins. Then there's Sirius, of course, but that doesn't help any. Then there's Remus, who's Chelsea's."

"What about Majed? Trevor Halstead the Ravenclaw? Amos Diggory the Hufflepuff?" Lily suggested. "I can think of several more guys you might like."

"Yeah," Cerise said dreamily. "I think you're right. Sirius is a jerk. I'll go out with someone else, possibly Majed, and make him jealous. Thanks, Lils."

"No problem," said Lily. "'Night."

"'Night."

_James's forehead itches, but his hands are tied behind his back, so he can't reach._

"_Find her," says an unfamiliar, but chilling and high-pitched voice._

"_Shall I kill him, too?" questions another man, and a hand slaps James, the nails grazing his skin. It stings and he feels blood begin to trickle down._

"_No," the voice replies harshly. "We must have him alive for the Polyjuice Potion. Prepare it for me, Malfoy."_

"_You are going to take it, sir?" says Malfoy – the man who slapped James – with surprise. "I thought I – "_

"_This girl has the ability to create a powerful child," the voice says. "It can be either his child or mine. However, his child will be our enemy, while my child will be assurance of my eternal reign over the realm of magic."_

"_She can have another child after this one, though," Malfoy argues._

"_No," the voice replies coldly. "After my child is born and after he has been nursed, we shall kill her."_

"_And if it doesn't work? If the child isn't born?" questions Malfoy._

"_She'll miscarry and never be able to bear another child," the voice replies calmly._

_The hairs rise on James's arms and the back of his neck. They're going to kill this woman!_

James woke up early the next morning, Saturday morning, an unpleasant feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. He decided to go downstairs for breakfast, and ducked his head in the seventh year boys' dorm as he passed, but didn't bother waking his friends because they would undoubtedly be cross at having been awoken at an ungodly hour such as this.

But the moment he opened the door and accidentally bumped it against a trunk, another Gryffindor seventh year named Majed Gavankar rose.

"You all right, James?" asked Majed in his cool, but pleasant voice.

He was so similar to his cousin, slender, tall, and elegantly graceful. His skin was the same golden tone as hers, and a few dark hairs fell into his emerald eyes, even more naturally so than Sirius's.

While Sirius and James were thought to be "devilishly charming" by the girls of the school (that wasn't vanity talking – a Gryffindor sixth year named Lola something-or-the-other had "anonymously" sent him a letter telling him that, and he had found out who it was from right away), Majed was simply irresistible to them.

"I'm fine," James replied. "I'll get over it – someday."

"No, you won't," Majed responded as they went downstairs after showering and getting dressed. "It's so rare to see you without Sirius, Remus, and Peter."

"I wanted to be alone," James explained. "Plus, they would hate to be woken up right now."

"So my presence defeats the purpose, eh?" he said with a grin.

James shrugged. "I don't mind your presence actually, because you don't constantly rant about Malfoy like Sirius or say 'be nice to Lily,' like Remus or keep bashing Lily like Peter."

"That's because I think you should do what you want," Majed said simply. "I like Lily, though. I refuse to treat her like anything other than a person, even though I do disapprove of her keeping that secret and dating a Slytherin."

Several girls passed by, giggling and saying, "Hi, James, Hi, Majed."

"Hi," they both replied – James listlessly, and Majed with a friendly grin.

"I – " began James, turning his head to Majed as he talked. But the grin had left Majed's face. James followed his gaze.

Malfoy and Lily were walking through the hallway, their backs to James and Majed. Malfoy took Lily's shapely hand in his own and said something to her. Lily replied and ran her free hand across her face. Malfoy took that hand too, leaned forward, and kissed her. James stopped dead. It was a long kiss; a very long kiss.

They broke away and Lily when Lily turned to look down the hallway, her eyes met those of James, and her face grew ashen.

"Coming, Majed?" James asked, ignoring her and walking right by. "Let's get some breakfast and we should probably head out to the Quidditch Pitch right away. We have to start practicing _now_ if we want to keep the tradition of clobbering Slytherin."

"Lucius!" Lily exclaimed, upset. "That was…we shouldn't…you can't…"

She stopped and took a deep breath.

Lucius looked at her, visibly alarmed and perturbed. "What, Lily? Is it because Potter walked by?" He said "Potter" with a note of disgust.

"No, well, yes," she responded miserably. "It is."

"I thought we were going to admit that we're together so we don't have to keep hiding," he reminded her, seeming annoyed.

"That's true," she said, "but James is…well, he's my friend now, and I don't want to give him more of a chance to be angry at me."

"_Just_ friends, right?" Lucius asked.

"Of course," she replied. "He's a great guy, but I can't see us as more than friends."

"Okay," Lucius said, not sounding very convinced.

"What should I do to prove it to you?" Lily asked, becoming a little frustrated.

"Well, you got so upset after I kissed you and it turned out that he saw," Lucius pointed out.

"I told you," she said. "I don't want him to be mad at me. If we begin talking again, then maybe all my friends will see what a great guy you are."

"And You-Know-Who will send a bouquet of roses to Dumbledore, begging for his forgiveness and perhaps ask McGonagall to marry him," he said sardonically.

"Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, Lucius," she corrected.

"I know, my dear," he said. "But I just can't see how they would ever begin to accept me as _friends_. This isn't a perfect world, unfortunately."

"I know, but – "

"Wait, let me finish. The enmity between Gyrffindor and Slytherin stretches far back before any of us. It's not just something any of us can overlook."

"The two of us did," she said quietly.

"That's different," he said, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Love has no boundaries. Think about Romeo and Juliet and every story we've ever heard or read about forbidden lovers."

"A lot of them didn't turn out well," she said, "because their _friends_ and _family_ were enemies."

"Lily," he began, then thought better of it. "Let's just drop the subject, okay?"

"Fine with me."

"You guys are so not clobbering us," Lucius said with a grin.

"We so are," Lily said lightly.

Trying to put the horrified and furious expression on James's face out of her mind, Lily continued forward with Lucius.

"What's the matter, mate?" asked Sirius. "First you didn't wait for us for breakfast, then you just ran off onto the Quidditch Pitch?"

"I needed to be alone," James said. "Majed was keeping me company in my loneliness."

"Aww, come on, we could've kept you company in your loneliness," Sirius said.

James shook his head and lowered his voice before glancing at Majed and turning back to Sirius. "No, because you, Moony, and Wormtail know me too well. Also, would you have liked to be woken at seven a.m. on Sunday?"

"Ah," Sirius responded, before tactfully changing the subject. "So, what's the plan for our Halloween Hogsmeade trip then?"

"I don't really feel like going," James said dully.

"If this is about Lily, then why don't you take your Invisibility Cloak?" Sirius suggested.

"I wish _they_ would take the Invisibility Cloak," James muttered darkly. "I don't care about them seeing me, but I just don't want to be seen by them."

He scanned the group that had just arrived.

"Good, looks like everyone's here. Let's start Quidditch practice then?" James said.

"S'long as you share the pitch," a voice said calmly.

They all looked up.

"Malfoy," growled Sirius, his eyes taking on that rabid glint he got whenever faced with a Slytherin (or someone from his family or anyone who would willingly hurt a loved one of his.)

"Watch it, blood traitor," Malfoy said, raising an eyebrow. "One word from me and Lord Voldemort could sweep down on you."

"I knew it!" James exclaimed. "How did you ever manage to hoodwink a clever witch like Lily into thinking you love her?"

"Simple," Malfoy replied quietly. "I _do_ love her. I didn't have to 'hoodwink' her into believing it."

"She's Muggle-born," Sirius pointed out.

"She's an exception," he said. "The extent of her powers make up for the fact that she isn't Pure-Blood. You know, her prowess is so great that I think her ancestors may be Pure-Blood, but her parents and sister are just Squibs."

"Shut up, Malfoy, and get away from us," James ordered, his voice cold and almost crackling with power. "Slytherin's free to practice _when we're done_."

"Fine," Malfoy said, narrowing his eyes. "Come on, team."

"Hi, Alice," Lily said with a big smile. Alice was the first one to the first Defense Against the Dark Arts Clinic of the year. She hoped desperately that her friends would show up despite the fact that they were angry at her.

"Hi," Alice responded.

"So, are you going to Hogsmeade?" Lily questioned.

Some Ravenclaws and Gryffindors poured in.

Alice nodded. "I'm glad you're spending more time with me, Lils. You've always been so nice."

Of course, that made Lily feel horrible because she hadn't really spent any time with poor, sweet, shy Alice Flynn before.

"You're a lot of fun when you actually open up," Lily said. "I'd encourage you to do it more often."

"Can I tell you something?" Alice asked.

"Definitely," Lily responded.

"Well, I – "

At that moment, Sirius, Remus, Chelsea, Peter, Helga, and Amirah strolled in, followed by Majed and Frank Longbottom and then Cerise. Lily scanned the group several times over, but there was no James. Disappointed, she looked up to see Lucius. She was surprised, to say the least, but even his appearance couldn't placate her.

"I would like to join this clinic," he announced boldly.

"Sign up with Professor Smartt," she told him.

'_See? I'm trying to make peace,'_ Lucius's eyes told her.

"Great," she whispered to herself. But what was the use if _James_ wasn't consoled?

Why did it matter so much to her anyways?

"I don't think we should allow prospective or even current Death Eaters to join the Defense Against the Dark Arts clinic," Amirah said smoothly, but not obnoxiously…well, it seemed obnoxious to Lily anyways.

"It'll let them in on all our secrets," agreed Sirius. He glared at Lucius's back.

"Come now," Professor Smartt said. "Don't judge people by their families. Look at you, Mr. Black. Your family is full of Dark Wizards, and look at you. You ran away from home and you aren't so bad."

"People can change," Lily spoke up timidly.

He shrugged. "Well, I can't disregard anything I heard with my own ears."

"Today we'll be talking about vampires," Lily said, deciding to ignore him. "More specifically, vampire-related myths and lore. Does anybody have anything to say?"

"Vampires can appear completely human," Alice spoke up. "In that case, the only thing that distinguishes them from humans is their superhuman strength, ability to grow fangs, and of course, their need for blood."

"Very true," Lily agreed. "Surprisingly enough, vampires _can_ go in sunlight for extended periods of time. In fact, it's the cold that bothers them more because they are cold-blooded. Of course, after their…er…_ingestion_ of blood, they can stand cold for protracted amounts of time because of the warm blood of humans that they feast on."

She tried not to watch Sirius, Amirah, Remus, and Chelsea talking quietly, but her eyes seemed to land upon them over and over.

"This Lily," Sirius muttered. "Can't she see how much she's hurting other people? Why's she being so selfish?"

"Why don't you stop harassing Lily?" Remus asked, with a sigh. It was getting really tiring to hear all of them continuously talk about Lily and how Lily had lied, how Lily had betrayed them, et cetera.

"Why are you all of a sudden taking her side?" Chelsea questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Because Lily's a human, like all of us. She has thoughts and feelings too," he said patiently.

"I think Cerise was right," Chelsea said.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, berating himself for opening his mouth. He should have just ignored it the way he always did when James and Sirius were being immature or Peter was being annoying.

"What did she say?" Sirius asked, pretending he didn't care.

"I overheard her talking to Lily at night," said Chelsea, her tone accusatory. "She said she thinks you fancy Lily."

"I do not," Remus lied.

Well, currently it was the truth. He cared deeply and immensely about Chelsea – so much more than anyone else. Once, in fifth year, he _had_ fancied Lily. She was clever, kind, friendly, so pretty, and a prefect like him.

"If you say so," Chelsea said coldly.

**Sneak-peek Chapter Seven:**

"Fine then," James said, whirling around and grabbing Amirah. He kissed her on the lips.

**Author's Note:** The next update will either be on Sunday, June 26 or Monday, June 27. Look for it!


	8. Chapter Seven: Mr Brightside

**Summary**: Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love... 

**Author's Note:**

**Lupin-Lover349:** Thank you so much for each and every one of your reviews! I think James should punch Malfoy in the face too…who knows…he just might. I hope it's not just you who thinks the quotes are funny!

**Man eating plant:** That's true, but the enmity between Slytherin and Gryffindor is so fierce they can't just overlook it. Plus, James has liked Lily for the longest time and James's friends and Lily's friends all think those two would be perfect for each other. Thanks for the review, by the way!

**AnjaliMalfoy:** It's reviews like this that make me want to keep writing ). Thank you SO much for making my day (we missed you at the party last week, by the way).

**OTHCharmedHPFreak:** Is that good? I hope it's good! Haha. Well, I'm updating now!

Thanks to **freshie** for the review!

**Author's Note (2):** This chapter is pretty long, and it somewhat seems like fluff, but there's a lot of background information that will be important later on!

**Chapter Seven: Mr. Brightside**

"I just can't look, it's killing me,  
and taking control.  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea,  
Swimming through sick lullabies,  
Choking on your alibi.  
But it's just the price I pay,  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes,  
I'm Mr. Brightside."  
-The Killers, _Mr. Brightside_

"Prongs, quite frankly, I'm getting tired of your moping around," said Sirius. "All right, Lily broke your heart. Get over it!"

He shook his mop of black hair and turned away with mock disgust. Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and glared at James out of the corner of his eye. James kept his eyes glued to the parchment sitting before him.

"I think we need to do something to get Prongs's mood back," Remus said with one of his wicked grins, which was even more rare than a gnome in prim and prissy Mrs. Black's garden.

"Ah, Moony has a plan!" Sirius said with a glint in his eye.

James looked up with astonishment, his quill frozen in the air. A glob of black into dripped onto the neatly done essay, but he didn't even notice.

"You have an idea for a prank?" Peter spoke up. "Finally…as long as I'm not the diversion again."

"_What's my role?" Peter asked eagerly._

"_You get to be the diversion," Sirius informed him._

"_I get to be the what?" he questioned._

_James and Sirius exchanged pitying looks. Poor guy. He wasn't very bright, but then again, it was because his mother spent every waking moment having fun with her beloved son. Peter's family situation was actually quite sad, but it wasn't something they wanted to dwell on at the time._

"_You get to distract Filch and Mrs. Norris," James explained gently._

"_What?" Peter's chubby visage paled. "What if they catch me?"_

"_They won't," James assured him. "We'll finish in time, I promise."_

_Peter looked at Sirius and then James, then Sirius again, hesitantly._

"_Don't you trust us, mate?" Sirius questioned, almost mockingly._

"_Yeah," replied Peter. "All right, I'll do it."_

_He muttered a couple of words and then his place stood a rat. It squeaked, as though to tell Sirius and James that he was ready._

"_I solemnly swear I am up to no good," James said, tapping his wand against the map. He studied it closely. "Go, Wormtail, Filch is in the second floor corridor."_

_Peter scurried off, finding those cracks and holes that he always used when traveling through Hogwarts castle – making sure to stay far from the other rats, of course. Using those secret shortcuts known only to him, he reached the second floor corridor and slipped out of a crack._

_With a slight squeak, he leapt out of the way as a student almost stepped on him. He turned his head to look this way and that with his little rat eyes. Although he was in the form of a rat, he was technically an Animagus, so his eyesight wasn't all that bad. He skimmed the corridor and his eyes found the feet of Mrs. Norris._

_Praying for his life, he scuttled onto a Slytherin girl's shoe. Her gaze fell to her feet and she shrieked – "RAT! RAT! Help me!"_

"_I'll get you, you filthy rat!" growled Filch, dashing after Peter, who hurried away, as fast as his little legs would carry him. His heart was pumping and he actually felt a rush from the excitement, but mostly what he felt was fear._

_More screams echoed those of the Slytherin girl, especially when people caught sight of Peter._

_Filch swiped at him._

"_Get him, Mrs. Norris!" he commanded._

_The cat hissed and darted at Peter, who zigzagged around horrified people's feet. He was almost there – there was a crack somewhere around here! There it was! With a relieved squeak, he began to enter it, but found himself face to face with a real rat. Wanting to avoid confrontation, and being afraid of real rats, he continued flitting down the corridor._

_Ah, another crack, thank goodness! He threw his chubby body into it – and found himself wedged in the hole. He pressed his forepaws against the wall and tried to wriggled himself free, but his hind legs – waving uselessly in the air on the outside of the wall – were weighing him down. Plus, there was his tail. With it wiggling around like a worm, he was certain to catch Mrs. Norris's attention. In fact, he could hear her hissing._

"_I've got you now, you filthy animal!" Filch snarled triumphantly._

_Exhausted, Peter stayed still, hoping that if he played dead, Filch would be satisfied and leave him alone._

"_Oh, your little tricks won't fool me," said Filch menacingly, dispelling any hope Peter had left._

_What were James and Sirius doing? Why were they late so late?_

_Then suddenly, a cannon-like booming echoed through the corridor, and the ground gave a shake that jolted Peter free. Thanking his stars, Peter hurried through the wall back to the Gryffindor Common Room._

"_What – " Filch gasped. "POTTER! BLACK!"_

Sirius and James roared with laughter – James forgetting all his troubles for a moment – and even Remus smiled.

"So, what's the plan, Moony?" Sirius asked keenly.

"I'll tell you after I reconcile with Chelsea," he said. "You guys will just have to wait."

Sirius glared at Remus and threw his arm around James's shoulder.

"Come on, man, are you going to torture Prongs like this?"

"Actually, I think Prongs is quite content with waiting," Remus said mildly. "I believe _you_ have a problem with it."

Pleadingly, Sirius turned to James to support him.

"I think he's right, mate," James said, amused.

"I can't believe he took Lily's side," Chelsea said miserably, lounging in a comfortable chair in the Gryffindor Common Room. "I think he _does_ like her. God, why is Cerise so stupid, and yet always right?"

"She isn't always right," Amirah said, soothingly, from the sofa beside Chelsea's chair. "I think he was just trying to see it from Lily's perspective and not jump to any conclusion."

"I don't know," Chelsea said, doubtfully. "Remember back in…fourth year? Fifth year? She fancied him then. He probably fancied her then and still does. He's just too faithful to James. God, if only Lily was the same way."

"She betrayed our trust by not telling us about Lucius," Amirah agreed. "But I think I agree with Remus now. I'm so tired of hearing about Lily and Lucius. At the same time, we can't just forget about them, because I _know_ he's going to hurt her."

"He's a Death Eater now," Chelsea said quietly. "If Snape is, he definitely must be. I mean, he's the ringleader of his little group and all."

"Hey, Chelsea," Remus said, coming up to them. Then he addressed Amirah, "May I please speak to her alone?"

"Don't ask her that," Chelsea responded irately. "She isn't my boss. If you want to talk to me, ask me."

"I was just trying to be polite," he said, a little thrown off.

That made Chelsea feel a little bad for snapping at him, and she said, "Well, all right then."

"I can see I'm not wanted here," Amirah said with a joking smile. "I'll be over there with James, Sirius, and Peter."

"I'm really sorry if your feelings were hurt, Chelsea," Remus said. "I was just trying to see things in a different light."

"But, I don't know, the way you said it made it seem as though you fancy her," Chelsea said, crossing her arms.

"I don't," he assured her. "I like her as a friend, despite her keeping her Slytherin boyfriend a secret from all of us. But, Chels, I…love you."

The last three words were said somewhat hesitantly, and there was a surprised, exultant look on Remus's face, as if he hadn't meant to say that, but after saying it, realized it was true.

"I love you," he repeated, a smile breaking across his face.

Chelsea bit her lip and studied him for a moment. Then she sighed and leaned forward so her forehead was touching his forehead.

"I love you too, Remus. I'm sorry…I'm sorry I'm so insecure. I jump to conclusions easily. It's just the way I am."

"It doesn't matter," he said, hugging her and planting a kiss on the top of her head. "All that matters is that now you know how I really feel. I love you. It feels so wonderful to say that! I love you. I mean it."

She laughed and kissed him on the lips, her heart all a-flutter and filled with love, drowning out even her conscience.

"Did I ever tell you?" began Lily. "I learned how my parents died."

Lucius turned his head abruptly and asked almost harshly, "Oh really? How?"

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," Lily said softly.

As tears filmed over her vision, she leaned against the wall and shut her eyes, allowing them to break free.

"I just don't understand it," she said after taking a shuddering breath. "I was told they kill for fun, but that doesn't make any sense."

"Why not?" he asked guardedly.

"If they killed purely for fun, wouldn't they want to torture their victims, rather than kill them straight off painlessly?"

"That makes sense," Lucius agreed, then muttered, "but I know that bastard father of mine enjoys killing. Maybe it's because when you snuff out a human life, it shows that you have the power to do so. You have the ability and strength to take a life."

"True," she said. "That may be the case. Or perhaps it's just that he loathes Muggles as a race and just kills them systematically to wipe them out."

"But he kills witches and wizards too," Lucius pointed out.

"Yes," Lily conceded. "He does."

Both of them were quiet for a moment as she turned these facts over in her head and assumed he did the same. She thought back to everything she could recall Professor Binns teaching them about massacres and killing.

"Maybe…maybe it's both," Lily said suddenly, quietly. "Maybe he kills Muggles to purge the world of them, and kills witches and wizards as a show of power."

"I think you're probably right," Lucius said. "But do you really want to think about this and talk about this right now?"

"No," she replied. "Not really."

"Come on, then," he said with a grin. "Let's go for a walk."

"What do we call this prank?" James questioned.

"Operation Bright Side," said Sirius, "because this is to cheer up Prongs."

"What's my role this time?" Peter asked nervously.

The four Marauders were seated around a table in the Gryffindor Common Room, speaking in low voices. Normally, Chelsea, Amirah, or someone else would have been hovering about them, but everyone could see that they were not to be disturbed at the moment.

"Don't worry," Remus said. "Padfoot and Prongs will be the distraction."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. "I don't get to actually pull the prank?"

"We're doing this together," Remus said severely. "All of us have our parts, so without even one of us, we couldn't pull off the prank. You have the fun part, anyway."

"Do tell," James said, interested.

"I will get the eggs –" Remus continued, only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"Hold on, eggs?"

"I happen to know that Hagrid has the eggs of a very rare type of spider," Remus said, wiggling an eyebrow. "It's a mix between an acromantula and a tarantula and fully grown, is about the size of a pumpkin. Its eggs are so small they can fit in the lines on our hands. However, when they hatch, which they do approximately twenty-six hours after the eggs are warmed, they grow quite quickly and a frightening to look at. The purpose of this spider – "

"Cut the lecture," Sirius said impatiently. "Go on with the plan."

"I think I know where this is going," James said with a grin. "We're going to sneak it into the Slytherin Common Room."

"In the boys' underwear, to be exact," Remus said. "I got the idea from Sirius."

"What do I do?" Peter asked.

"You take the eggs to the Slytherin Common Room and get them in the boys' underwear."

Peter gulped and put his head down on the table.

"You'll do it in your rat form," he continued. "You can hold the eggs in your mouth."

"And if he swallows them?" asked Sirius, with a bark-like laugh. "He'll have spiders hatching in his stomach."

Peter blanched.

"Don't worry," Remus said, throwing Sirius a dirty look. "If you swallow one or even fifty by accident, they won't hatch in your stomach. They'll be broken down by your stomach acid."

"Oh," Peter squeaked. "What if they hatch in my mouth?"

"They won't," Remus promised him. "It won't be time."

"What exactly do Prongs and I do?" asked Sirius.

"You two just act wild and crazy. Do something that will make everyone watch and listen. Make it something that will draw out a crowd of Slytherins."

"Fine," said Sirius.

"Cool," said James.

"Let's do it, mates," Remus said. "Operation Bright Side will begin on October third. James's birthday."

**Operation Bright Side Part I – The Steal**

Remus crossed the Hogwarts grounds, enjoying the glow of twilight and the coolness of the weather. He rapped on the door of Hagrid's hut with his knuckles. He could hear Fang barking furiously and scratching against the door.

"Who is it?" Hagrid called. "Calm down, boy."

"It's Remus," he responded, smiling to himself as he imagined Hagrid pulling Fang back away from the door.

The door opened, and candlelight fell upon Remus.

"What are yeh doin' here, Remus?" Hagrid asked, but he smiled all the same, and there was warmth in the darkness of his eyes.

"I just wanted to say hi to an old friend," Remus lied, feeling his conscience drum on his mind. "I haven't properly seen you in so long."

"Thanks fer comin' by," Hagrid said. "How're things goin' fer yeh this year?"

"Oh, all right," Remus responded, drumming his fingers on Hagrid's wooden table.

"I'll get a cup o' tea fer yeh," Hagrid told him.

Once he turned his back to Remus to tend to the kettle, Remus brushed some spider eggs into his pockets.

"So, it's yer last year at Hogwarts," Hagrid commented.

"Yeah," Remus agreed, then gave a fake, dry cough.

"I don't feel so great," he said, coughing again, several times. "I think I should head back up. Sorry to cut this short again, Hagrid."

"Should I walk yeh back?" Hagrid questioned, concerned.

"Don't bother yourself," Remus said, coughing and waving him off. "I promise, James, Sirius, Peter, and I will come down here and visit you a lot more."

"All righ' then, Remus," he said.

Remus hurried back up to the castle, throwing a glance at the sky. He narrowed his eyes. The moon was almost full. In a couple of days, it would be time. He shuddered. Even after almost nine years of this, he still couldn't get used to it.

'_This is my life,'_ he thought, sighing.

_It was his eighth birthday, and his party had just ended, and his house was stuffy and packed with presents._

"_Why don't you go take a walk outside?" his mum suggested with a mysterious smile._

"_All right," he agreed._

_Remus stepped out of his house and stepped down the sidewalk, the spring air cool on his skin. The night was perfumed with jasmine and rose and lavender. He breathed it in deeply and turned his eyes upward, admiring the perfectly round, silvery moon._

_A strange feeling surrounded him, as though he was being followed. A low growling sound emitted from a bush, and the bush rustled._

_He froze and stared at the bush with alarm. The growling deepened and a creature with glowing eyes stalked out of the bushes and toward him. Remus backed away slowly, and the creature roared and leaped at him, sinking its teeth into Remus's arm._

_Shockwaves of pain were sent up his arms, and he cried aloud before dropping to the ground, and rapidly losing consciousness._

Remus shuddered again. Then, to lighten his mood, he thought to himself, _'I never _did_ find out what that surprise was.'_

**Operation Bright Side Part II – The Pass**

"Here, Wormtail, I've got the eggs," Remus said triumphantly.

Peter looked at the greenish eggs, repulsed. "I don't want those in my mouth, Moony."

"I know," Remus said, "which is why I'm going to wrap them up in this napkin and set them carefully in your mouth. When you get to the Slytherin Common Room, just spit the whole napkin in one of their trunks."

"All right," Peter agreed nervously.

He transfigured into a rat and opened his mouth. Remus placed the napkin inside.

"I'll amplify my hearing and wait right outside the Slytherin Common Room. Squeak three times if you're in trouble, and I'll make a lot of noise and do something you can get free. Good luck, mate."

**Operation Bright Side Part III – The Diversion**

"Hey, James! Happy birthday, mate!" Sirius said loudly, as they walked by the corridor to the Slytherin Common Room.

He had no problem being loud and obnoxious; he had had plenty of years of practice due to his mother and father, who had disowned him, and who he had disowned.

"_You _will _follow the Black tradition, boy!" roared Donovan Black, his father._

"_I will not," Sirius said calmly. "You may be a Death Eater, Mum may be a Death Eater, Regulus may become a Death Eater, but I will never stoop to your level."_

"_Is that your final choice?" Donovan asked, his face an unattractive shade of puce._

"_Yes," Sirius replied stolidly._

"_Think carefully," Donovan continued, imitating his calm voice. "There's no one to take you in if we disclaim you."_

"_On the contrary, dear Father," Sirius said. "James and his family would be happy to take me in."_

"_Oh, would they? Well, go on then, live with those blood traitors, you bastard!" Donovan started out evenly, but his voice rose with every word. "Get out, boy! You are no longer a part of the Black family!"_

_He grabbed a precious Ming vase and hurled it at Sirius, who deflected it easily. The pieces tumbled to the floor. He turned on his heel and left the house, slamming the door shut._

Never, from his young days had he agreed with their ideals and he had always made it clear. Sirius's brother, Regulus had felt the same way, but had wanted nothing more than for his parents to be proud of him. Besides that, he was pretty much a coward, being in Slytherin and all. The "Good Son" the Mr. And Mrs. Black called him. There had been no happier day in Sirius's life when Harry and Andrea Potter had allowed him to stay with them. He hoped and prayed that his poor brother would soon see reason and turn away from the Black way of life.

As he made his announcement, several students walked by, including Lily and Lucius.

"Happy birthday, James," a Hufflepuff girl told him.

"Hmm…thanks," he said tonelessly. "Shut up, Padfoot."

"It's your birthday today?" asked Chelsea, hurrying up to catch up with the two of them. "Happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday!" Amirah echoed with a smile.

"Looks like you aren't getting a birthday kiss this year," Sirius said with a grin.

Sirius's manner of speaking made it seem as though James conned a girl into kissing him every year, but actually, until fourth year, his mother, Andrea Potter had given him his birthday kiss. He hadn't been kissed by her in so long, yet he could remember the way she always smelled of honeysuckle and placed one cool hand on one cheek as she kissed the other cheek.

She was his mother and she met more to him than anyone in the world (except, perhaps, Sirius and Lily) now that his father, Harry Potter was gone. He recalled how, when he was younger, his father and mother together had made up his whole world. He hadn't had many friends; he hadn't needed many friends, yet their love and caring had given him the recipe to make friends instantly, which had catapulted him to popularity in first year.

He hadn't shown anyone his true feelings then, yet he had been slightly homesick and missed his parents so much that first year of Hogwarts. As second year came around, however, he had adjusted and was finally able to let go of the apron strings. Now he and his mother weren't as close as they had once been, but he knew, judging by the way he had turned out, she and his father had raised him well.

"I'll give you your birthday kiss," the Ravenclaw sixth year from the other night. James was torn out of his thoughts and once he realized who was talking, he was actually quite astonished that she had the audacity to talk to him and suggest such a thing after the way he had caught her and threatened to tell Professor Dumbledore.

James ignored her and glared at Sirius. "I can get my birthday kiss, you'll see."

He looked around really quickly and grabbed Chelsea, and was about to plant a kiss on her. Sirius intervened quickly.

"Hold on, mate, you can't do that. You know she's Remus's girl!" he exclaimed.

"Fine then," James said, whirling around and grabbing Amirah. He kissed her on the lips.

"Whoa," she said, when they broke away, looking bewildered, angry, and horrified.

"Wait, don't slap him, " Sirius said, grabbing her hand. "It's his birthday after all."

"I don't care if it's his birthday!" Amirah exclaimed furiously.

More Slytherins trickled into the hallway, apparently drawn by the raised voices. Glancing around quickly, James was happy to see that every seventh year Slytherin seemed to be there.

"How dare you?" Amirah was saying, with her hands on her hips.

She turned with disgust to Sirius too. "And you! Encouraging him like this! Both of you jerks ought to be ashamed of yourselves!"

Several Slytherins chortled. Snivellius didn't just chortle. He laughed outright.

'_We'll see who has the last laugh,'_ thought James, grinning to himself. It served a double purpose, because he knew it looked simple cheeky to Amirah.

"I don't believe you! You're shameless!"

James was about to respond to provoke her and give Peter more time, when something happened. Pain flashed in waves of crimson across his vision, and it felt as though he had gotten an aptly named "brain freeze."

"_Stung by her aversion, he will be poisoned by her betrayal until the life bleeds out of him, slowly, excruciatingly…"_

Doubling over as he felt as though a pit had formed in the center of his stomach, he swallowed hard, sweat beginning to form at his temples.

"Prongs, mate, are you all right?" Sirius asked with concern.

"Oh, come now," Amirah said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't think he's faking it," Chelsea said, worriedly.

"Come on, Lils, there's nothing to see here," James heard Lucius say.

"But something's wrong with James," she argued. "I have to see what happened. Let go of my arm, Lucius."

"All right, all right. I just don't want you to get snubbed by them, again."

'_Yeah, right, bastard,'_ thought James. _'Fucking Death Eater. How dare you use her like this? You claim to love her?'_

"James," Lily's voice said, and then she knelt by him.

"You're just going to make things worse," Sirius said coldly.

"Sod off, Black," Lily snapped, flipping her scarlet hair over her shoulder. "I believe I know more about this than you."

"Has delicate Potter finally crumbled?" Snivellius asked maliciously.

"Oh, shut up, Severus," said Lucius. "Come on, you guys. Let's get out of here. There's nothing to see."

"On the contrary," Sirius spoke up quickly. "There's obviously something wrong with James, which means there _is_ something to see."

Lily looked at Sirius, stunned. "Do you know what you're saying? You _want_ people to gape at James while he's in pain?"

"Shut up, Lily. Don't interfere when you have no idea what's going on."

She pressed her fingers against her forehead then looked up at him, opening her mouth, but no sound came out. She tried again, then shook her head, defeated.

"I give up, then. I'll just try to help James out."

Lily placed a cool hand on James's cheek, and he cried out and threw himself backwards. He winced as he put his hand up to the scalded skin of his cheek.

"Whoa," Lily murmured. "I'm sorry, James."

She reached out again.

"Don't," he said, heart stopping with fear, but it was too late. Her hand brushed his cheek again.

This time, however, the pain from his cheek and the rest of his body subsided; it was almost as though it had just evaporated. He rose slowly and looked at her suspiciously.

"What was that?" he questioned.

"What was what?" she inquired.

"I feel…better," James responded, bemusedly.

"My magic touch," she said with a small smile. "Happy birthday, James."

**Operation Bright Side Part IV – The Conceal**

Peter nodded his rat head at Remus and scurried into a crack in the wall.

He was so lucky to have friends like these three. He hadn't had a very rich or thrilling childhood.

His mum's family had been a wealthy family of Muggles, and they hadn't wanted her to marry the poor man who later became Peter's father (wasn't that just typical?). Her father, Dwight Cunningham tried to marry her off to a rich English man, rather than the Irish bloke she wanted to marry. Well of course, she went off and married Patrick O'Malley, who later changed his name to Patrick Pettigrew so his wife's family wouldn't find them.

Due to some careful spying, however, Dwight Cunningham found now-pregnant Julianne Cunningham-O'Malley-Pettigrew (known, simply has Julianne Pettigrew). He told her he would still give her a chance, but for that she had to leave Patrick and give up her baby once it was born. That, she blatantly refused.

So, she stayed with Patrick, who worked hard at a dock. Soon after, Patrick O'Malley-Pettigrew, for whom she gave up her prosperous lifestyle, died suddenly.

Peter had been told numerous times when he was younger that his father had died from pneumonia shortly after Peter's birth. Julianne had been forced to flee to her parents protect her son's health.

However, just a few years ago, he had heard the truth from his own mum's mouth when she had been talking to her best friend. She hadn't known that Peter was listening, or she would never have admitted it.

"_He didn't die from pneumonia, Suzanne," she had said quietly. "My own father had him killed."_

"_How can you say that?" Suzanne asked alarmed. "He's your father. He just wants the best for you. He wouldn't kill the man you love."_

"_He tried to trick me into marrying Stephan," she said. "You know how he hates it when he doesn't get his way. Because of it, he began hating Patrick with a passion. It was almost an obsession for him. He wanted me to give up Peter, Suzanne. He wanted me to give up my son."_

"_Why did he want you to marry Stephan in the first place?" questioned Suzanne. "Didn't he care about your happiness?"_

"_He thinks money equals happiness," replied Peter's mum. "He just wants to fuse two affluent bloodlines."_

_She began to weep, and her voice broke as she continued, "My father broke my heart and he doesn't even care."_

"_Then leave!" exclaimed Suzanne. "Why stay here still?"_

"_I want Peter to be raised properly," she responded. "And he's so arrogant that it's unheard for him to not care for his grandson. He doesn't want to be his reputation to be defaced. He doesn't one whit about my son, though. He hardly talks to the boy. I look forward to the day Peter graduates from Hogwarts and would like to remind you that I'm only sticking around for Peter."_

"_You really love your son," Suzanne said, with a smile. "I would offer you a place to stay, but you know I haven't a proper place of my own. I believe your father disapproves of my being here."_

"_Probably," agreed Peter's mum, laughing through her tears._

"_But I still have one question," Suzanne said. "Why did he let you keep Peter?"_

_Peter's mum smiled. "Because I told everyone. It was probably the only smart thing I did. You know how much he cares about appearances and respect, and he made it seem as though he had always supported our relationship and that when Paddy tragically died, I came running to my _darling_ father and he decided to take care of me and my son."_

Peter almost gritted his teeth, but reminded himself in time that the eggs were delicate. He dropped carefully into a hole and followed a set of miniature steps upwards in the darkness of the wall before finding himself at a dead end. He felt around for another passage, and once it was found, he flattened himself and squeezed through it.

There was now only a thin layer of wall separating him from the corridor outside. He could even hear Sirius say, "Hey, James! Happy birthday, mate!" very loudly.

Peter was dashing about for about half an hour when he finally came to a small, round hole. Once he forced himself through, he found himself unmistakably in the Slytherin Common Room. He scurried up the stairs to the Seventh Year Boy's Dorm, feeling shaken by the green glow surrounding him, rather than the warm maroon décor of the Gryffindor Tower.

Footsteps thundered down the stairs, and Peter flattened himself against the foot of the banisters to avoid being crushed. His heart raced as two Slytherin boys stamped down toward the common room.

"Those Gryffindors'll never know what hit them," one sneered.

"Slytherin will win the House Cup this year!" vowed another.

Peter waited until he was positive they were gone and dashed up the stairs and squeezed under the door into the Seventh Year Boys' Dormitory. He found a half open trunk and spit the napkin into it. Then, he dashed out again, hoping he wouldn't be caught.

The crowd dissipated, and Lily left with Lucius, glaring at Sirius the whole time. Only the indignant Chelsea and the livid Amirah remained.

"Great acting, Prongs," complimented Sirius.

"I wasn't acting," said James. "It really hurt."

"Hold on, acting?" said Chelsea with disbelief. All of this was a farce? That was a relief, and yet it was infuriating. How dare they do that?

"Wait and watch," Sirius said with a wink at her.

"Sorry, Amirah," James said. "I didn't want to tell you before because I didn't want it to be ruined, and I didn't want to have to kiss a Ravenclaw and explain it to her. I'm sure you two are _far_ more understanding than them."

Remus hurried over to them, followed by Peter.

"Where did you come from, Moony?" James asked.

"I was standing in front of the Slytherin Common Room, making sure Wormtail was all right," he replied.

A scream erupted from the Slytherin Common Room, and a girl ran out.

"Spiders!" she shrieked.

More people ran out soon after, including Snape. As he dashed up to them, he pointed his finger and yelled, spittle flying from his mouth, "YOU ARE BEHIND THIS, I KNOW YOU ARE!"

At that moment, Lucius and Lily rushed back through the corridor.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Lucius cried.

"THEY PUT SPIDERS IN OUR DORM!" Snape bellowed.

The four Marauders shrugged innocently.

"What spiders?" asked James.

"We don't know anything about this," Sirius said.

"Not a thing," agreed Remus.

Peter just nodded.

"Just go back to the Gryffindor Tower," Lily commanded shaking her head.

"Shut up, Lily," said Sirius.

"She's right, Sirius," said James. "She _is_ Head Girl, after all."

Giving each other high-fives, the four boys and two girls returned to the Gryffindor Tower.

**Sneak-peek Chapter Eight:**

"_Leave me alone!" Tom shrieked, a mere child. "When I'm trained properly, you'll all be sorry! I'll be the most powerful wizard in the world!"_

"_Right then, Merlin, show us one of your magic tricks," a boy demanded._

"_He doesn't know any," said the fat one smugly._

"Stop it," the lord commanded himself. "After tonight those memories need never be revisited."

**Author's Note:** Next update will be on either July 5th or July 10th because I'll out of town then! Please keep reading and reviewing! Also, please read my one-shot fic, _Long Way Down_, which I will upload sometime soon!


	9. Chapter Eight: Torn

**Summary: **Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love...

**Author's Note:**

**freshie**: That was the point ).

**AnjaliMalfoy**: I don't know who this "Tejashri" is. I think you're confusing me with someone else. It's Katrina, remember? In any case, I'll read it.

**OTHCharmedHPFreak**: This chapter changes everything, so I think you'll be slightly happier.

Thanks to **beachbabe17** for the review!

**Author'sNote****(2):** The poem near the end _("Easter Morn")_ is by Louise Lewin Matthews.

**Author's Note (3): **I had to edit this chapter due to _HBP_, so it has some spoilers! I had to edit it yet one more time because I forgot to put in a sneak-peek.

**Chapter Eight: Torn**

"Nothings quite untold  
I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I am shamed,  
Lying naked on the floor.  
Illusion never changed,  
Into something real.  
I'm wide awake and I can see  
The perfect sky is torn.  
You're a little late,  
I'm already torn."  
-Natalie Imbruglia, _Torn_

"I thought you thought this place is lame," Lucius whispered to Lily.

"This place isn't just lame," she whispered back. "It's…very lame."

They both chuckled at her _lame_ finish.

They were standing in Madame Puddifoot's shop, a place of crimped pink lace and curly little bows. It was clean and the scent of flowers drifted through the air. The tables were all round and small, only big enough for two people. The chairs had pink cushions and heart-shaped backs.

"Then why are we here?" he asked.

"Because I'd rather not go to the Three Broomsticks and face _them_," she explained as they seated themselves.

"What can I get you, m'dears?" asked Madame Puddifoot.

"Two coffees," Lucius said. "There are other places rather than the Three Broomsticks. What about the Hog's Head?"

"You think that would have been better than coming in here?" she asked dubiously.

"Well, yeah, a hell of a lot better. It may be tough and wild, but it's so much more interesting than this prissy place."

"At least this prissy place smells pretty," she pointed out. "I don't think anyone who goes to the Hog's Head ever showers."

"You have a point there. So, what do you think of my joining the Defense Against the Dark Arts clinic?"

"It was very brave," Lily told him.

He smiled. "Just trying to bridge the gap, my dear."

"I commend you for it," she said sincerely.

Their coffee came, and both drank it fairly quickly.

"What shall we do now?" she asked, as they rose and left.

"Your choice," he responded. "We could walk up to the Shrieking Shack or Zonko's Joke Shop. The post office, maybe?"

"The novelty of this place sure has worn off," she said watching some third years dash about excitedly. "Remember when we were like them?"

"Not really," he replied. "I prefer to think we were somewhat mature."

"We probably weren't," Lily said. "After all, third years are third years."

"But not all third years are the same," he reminded her, raising his eyebrows.

She shrugged. "True."

Glancing about and shivering pleasantly in the cool October breeze, Lily was alarmed to see her "friends" walking toward her. None of them seemed to have seen her. Then Sirius looked up and saw them.

"Surprising how many Death Eaters roam freely," he said loudly.

Lily shook her head with disgust. "Come on, Lucius. Look, there's Alice!" she said, dragging him along by the hand.

"I think Lily does like you," Amirah told James. "I heard her tell Cerise that she's especially upset that you aren't talking to her."

"Really," he said rhetorically. "Well, she loves that Death Eater."

"I'm really worried," Chelsea spoke up.

"Why?" Amirah asked.

"I don't know how much you know about Muggle history, but I was Muggle born, so, well…have you heard of the Holocaust?"

"Anti-Semitism and the purge of Jews," Remus said quietly.

"Right," Chelsea said.

"Huh?" was Sirius and Peter's reply.

"In short, a dictator named Hitler rose to power in Germany. He hated Jews the way Voldemort hates Muggle-borns. Hitler treated the Jews unbelievably cruelly and killed them – men, women, and _children_. If Voldemort rises even further…we could have a second Holocaust on our hands."

Now there was a subdued silence as this sunk in.

"And Malfoy as good as told us that he's a Death Eater," James said softly.

"We have to get Lily away from this guy," Chelsea said.

"Definitely," Amirah agreed.

"It's only a matter of time," he murmured to himself. "The Witching Hour, the auspicious time shall come and I will then be utterly invincible."

"Everything's set place, my lord," Malfoy Senior said.

"Good," he said in his high-pitched voice, then returned to speaking to himself. "Tom Riddle…did you have any idea you fathered the most powerful wizard of all time?"

"What would you have me do, lord?" the wizard asked, kneeling respectfully.

"Leave me alone for the time being," commanded the lord. He waited until Malfoy Senior had left. "After midnight I need never look back. Those filthy Muggles will get what they deserve. Imagine treating the descendant of Salazar Slytherin the way they did…"

_The orphanage went on one of its winter outings. Eight-year-old Tom was relieved, and although he would never let it show, he was actually excited for a change of scenery. He was absolutely sick of seeing the damn orphanage constantly._

_They went ice-skating. Tom preferred to be on his own. He skated with natural ease, grinning to himself. _Clever Tom Marvolo Riddle.

_Billy Stubbs had just gotten a beautiful silver pin from a mysterious benefactor. The pin had two fancy G's on it. Nobody knew what they meant, but Tom had decided he wanted the pin. He contemplated the best way to take it._

"_Hey, Tom!" called Billy tauntingly. "You wouldn't dare skate in the slickest area of the pound would you? You're such a coward!"_

_Angrily, Tom skated swiftly to where Billy indicated. "I'm no coward, see?"_

_Billy laughed. "Watch your feet, Tom!"_

_Tom looked down to see the ice cracking under his feet. With a gasp, he fell through, the chill water stabbing at him like hundreds of knives and taking his breath away. He struggled furiously before losing consciousness._

"Stop it," the lord commanded himself, clutching the silver pin and recalling the day he almost died. "After tonight those memories need never be revisited."

"Hi, Alice," Lily said. "Hi, Cerise, Trevor."

"Hi," Alice responded.

Cerise made a vague gesture with her hand, but she and Trevor were glued at the lips and seemed too busy to do anything else.

"Do you think there's a disease someone can get from kissing too much?" Lily whispered to Alice.

"There probably is," Alice whispered back. "It might not have been discovered yet, though. Then again, I bet there's nobody who kisses quite as much as Cerise."

"And she said _Sirius_ wants to kiss all the time," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "I haven't seen him kiss a single person since Cerise."

"He's probably just biding his time," Alice told her. "He _is_ Sirius Black after all."

Both Alice and Lily pressed their hands over their mouths to stifle their giggles, and Lily watched her friends leave out of the corner of her eyes. Why were they so obstinate? Would they _ever_ begin speaking to her again?

"Severus," Lucius said with a nod of his head.

"Lucius," Snape responded in kind. He didn't even look at anybody else, but continued along with his group of friends, which included Narcissa Black, Sirius's cousin.

'_What an appropriate name,'_ Lily thought. _'She definitely seems narcissistic.'_

"I have to go get a gift for my mum's birthday," Alice said. "I would say you two could come along, but if you're anything like these two, I'll be the odd one out. So, I'll see you later, Lils."

"Bye."

"Come on," Lucius said, once she was gone. "Let's head back to Hogwarts."

"Okay," she agreed.

"You could get Lily, you know?" Amirah said.

"How?" James asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his muscled arms across his chest. "I've gotten over her now, remember."

"No, you haven't. You can get her by making her jealous," Amirah said.

"That's a great idea!" exclaimed Sirius.

"I don't see how this'll work," James said doubtfully. "She's never been jealous because of me before."

"That's because you were always there, asking her out, boosting her ego," Sirius said.

"Hey, girls do _not_ have egos!" Chelsea interjected good-naturedly. "But anyways, he's somewhat right. You were always a sort of…_safety net_. If you display interest in someone else…well, hidden feelings could surface."

He shrugged. "A safety net? Is that all I am to her? And well, that might work, but I want her to be happy, and if she's happy with…"

"Don't say it," Sirius warned. "She could _never_ be happy with a Death Eater."

James looked to Remus for support.

"He's right, James," Remus said simply. "She'll won't remain happy with him for long."

"I'm going out with Remus," Chelsea said, "but maybe Amirah…do you mind?"

"Not at all," Amirah responded with an elegant shake of her head.

"It's a great idea, I guess," James said. "Let me think on it. I'll go back to Hogwarts and think on it."

"Do you want us to come along?" Sirius asked.

"I have to be alone right now," he said. "Oh God, I'm a safety net to her, and nothing else. Maybe I sound bitter, but who wants to be a safety net to the person they love?"

Sirius pressed his lips together – but not in an angry manner – and nodded.

Lily and Lucius reached the castle.

"Do you just want to stay out on the grounds for awhile?" Lily asked with a sigh. "I love this weather."

"Nah, I don't like it very much," Lucius replied, his face pale. "It's too cold."

"Cold-blooded like a snake," she joked. "Let's go in, then."

They went into the Entrance Hall. Lily was about to go the Great Hall, but Lucius tugged her hand.

"Come with me," he said softly.

Filled with a thrill of excitement, Lily followed. He led her up the stairs to the Third Floor Corridor behind a statue of The Bearded Goblin, some mythological or historical figure. There was a small, but somewhat spacious room there. It was almost completely barren, devoid of any paintings or anything except a blue sofa.

Lucius faced her and gazed into her eyes. "Tell me, my dear, how much do you trust me?"

'_This is it!'_ she thought.

"I trust you implicitly, with every bone in my body," Lily told him honestly.

"Good," he responded, with something that looked like triumph flitting through his eyes. "Let me see your wand. Thanks. Here."

He took her wand and guided her onto the sofa and kissed her gently, twining his hands in her hair. The kiss grew stronger and deeper, and his hand snuck down toward her robes, which he began to undo.

What was he doing? This was too soon, far too soon. They were untouched. And what about the poem – her poem?

Lily broke away and gasped breathlessly, "Wait, stop!"

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"We can't do this," she said.

"We have to," Lucius said. "You said you trust me implicitly."

"I do, but – "

"There are no buts in matters of trust," he said. "I don't want to force you to do anything, but – "

"I thought you said there are no buts in trust," she said, trying to brush him away, but he caught her hand and kissed her neck.

Lily gasped again and drew away. "You aren't a vampire, are you?"

He had been cold and pale outside and now it seemed he wanted to bite into her neck!

He gave a bitter laugh. "Of course not, my dear. But this would be so much easier if you agreed."

"What does that mean?" she asked, bewildered, backing away from him slightly.

"It means I don't have any choice in this matter," he told her. "This is happening whether or not either one of us wants it to."

"No it isn't," Lily said forcefully, angrily. "I don't want this to happen. Please, don't make it happen."

"Lily, my dear, do not make this more difficult for me than it already is," he hissed at her.

"Why should it be difficult for you?" she asked. "Hello, raging hormones!"

Trembling, he raised his arm and showed it to her. She gasped yet again, unable to believe what she was seeing. Lucius, her Lucius? The sweet man who had always been so loving toward her? This was impossible! All of this was impossible!

Seared onto his flesh was…the Dark Mark.

"Get away from me," she cried. "Get _away_!"

"I must do what my master wants me to do," he said. "Please try to understand, Lily."

"I understand very well," she said, trying to stall by talking. "I understand what a coward you are!"

"He would kill me," Lucius said, his tone becoming pleading. "I can't fight him. He's too strong."

"Then die for what you believe in," she said. "Die for the sake of what is good and what is true."

James walked out of the passage that led from Zonko's Joke Shop to Hogwarts. He took out the Marauder's Map and scanned it. His eyes fell on a dot labeled LILY EVANS and one labeled LUCIUS MALFOY. They were together, slightly overlapping.

He uttered a sound of disgust, and was about to put it away, but something about this scenario bothered him, and he had long since learned to trust his instincts. With that thought, he hurried down the corridor to Lily.

With a quick glance around, he stepped to the right of The Bearded Goblin and looked behind it. There was a narrow doorway that led to a small room. He squeezed his tone body in to hear Lily snap, "Die for the sake of what is good and what is true!"

He saw her, lying on a blue sofa with no back. Malfoy was lying on it as well, half on top of her. She didn't look at him, but he could tell that she saw him.

"I'm no Gryffindor," Malfoy said. "I can't be brave and stand up to him. He's offered me power to reward me for doing what he wants, and torture as a punishment for disobeying him. He's too powerful, Lily."

"Let me go, Malfoy," she hissed. "I never knew that you're such a coward."

"That's it," he said. "Enough with all this talk."

With that, he pushed his robes back and began unbuckling his belt.

"Yes, enough," James spoke up.

Malfoy stiffened and looked at him with astonishment and anger. "Must you stalk Lily wherever she goes?"

"My heart told me to find her," James said. "I knew she was in trouble."

"Mind your own business," Malfoy snarled.

"My wand, James!" Lily cried.

"_Expelliarmus_!" James yelled, flicking his wand at Malfoy. Both wands flew out of Malfoy's hands and into James's.

Lily took advantage of his confusion and fear to push him away and scurry to James's side. He put his arm around her protectively.

"Fifty points from Slytherin and detention, Malfoy," James growled. "If you ever try something like this again, it's a nice visit with Professor Dumbledore. Go, Malfoy, before I make it a hundred points."

Glaring at the two of them, Malfoy swept away.

When he was certain the fiend was gone, James turned to Lily, who was extremely silent and looked lost.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"You were right," Lily answered listlessly. "He _is_ horrible. I was trying to convince you all that he's different, but you were always right."

Her admittance and the lack of tears made him feel sick to his stomach. He could have easily wiped away the tears as he had for countless other girls (though he didn't care about them half as much as he did about Lily), but this helplessness?

"I just want to go back to my dormitory and sleep," she said softly.

"Perfectly understandable," James said gently. "Come on, darlin', I'll escort you back."

He kept his arm where it was, around her shoulder and steered her toward the Gryffindor Tower.

"Aren't you back a little early?" the Fat Lady asked suspiciously.

"Lily doesn't feel too well," James lied. "Just let us in, please"

"Password?"

"Pestiferous," he said, and the portrait swung open. He helped Lily through and followed her in. She began walking up the stairs towards the Girl's Dormitory, but turned suddenly.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"It was nothing," he insisted.

She half-smiled and then went up to the dorm.

Lily undressed slowly and lay on her bed, practically shivering. This couldn't be real – it couldn't have happened! Lucius had destroyed her hopes, her dreams, and had broken her heart in one confusing instance. He had let the façade of hidden goodness crumble and had caused Lily's beliefs of the world to crumble as well.

How could he have turned out to be such a coward? There seemed something so wrong with that scenario. He had never, ever shown any signs of cowardice before. Maybe it was Voldemort acting through the Imperius Curse…or even a Polyjuice Potion.

Was there anyone truly good left in the world? Now Lily didn't shiver, feeling like an untainted virgin (she truly _was_ a virgin, though) thrown into a brothel with filth and grim spewed across the cracked stone floors and with prostitutes and their clients spanning through the entirety of the place, regardless of who saw them. _A pure white lily_.

"_Eastern morn with lilies fair,  
Fills the church with perfume rare.  
As their clouds of incense rise,  
Sweetest offerings to the skies._

"_Stately lilies pure and white  
Flooding darkness with their light,  
Bloom and sorrow drifts away,  
On this holy hallow'd day._

"_Easter Lilies bending low  
in the golden afterglow,  
Bear a message from the sod  
To the heavenly towers of God."_

Lily murmured this poem softly. Such a religious poem it was, but did she believe in God anymore? After all, she was a witch… Yet this familiar, beloved poem of hers was so soothing she repeated it over and over until it lulled her to sleep

**Sneak-peek Chapter Nine:**

"I don't understand though," Chelsea said. "Where did she come from?"

She stood and peeled some of the cotton blankets away from the basket to reveal a beautiful baby face with strands of silky scarlet hair covering the top of her head.


	10. Chapter Nine: The Night Goes On

**Summary: **Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love...

**Author's Note:**

**freshie**: Yay! I'm glad you see it that way!

**AnjaliMalfoy**: It's okay and I'm glad you liked this chapter! I'll read your piece too. Yeah, I'll give you a call. Wait, don't you still have my cell number?

**OTHCharmedHPFreak**: Hmmm…you should know that I'm not that nice to these characters. James and Lily _will_ get together though – we all know that.

**Skittles624**: Wow, I can't even put into words how flattered am I! I'm so glad you liked it, and thank you SO much for that review! It totally made my day!

**CrystalKisses**: I'm glad you liked it and I know! Why? Why did she kill him off? I don't think you're strange – we're all strange to an extent.

Thanks to **how could she** for the review!

**Author's****Note** **(2):** Maybe I'm just sadistic, but this is probably my favorite chapter out of the fifteen I've written so far. When you read it, you'll probably think I'm weird, but the reason I like this chapter is because it's pretty important.

**Author's Note (3):** This chapter is in honor of **Celina K2** and **Celina Black** (you'll see why soon enough).

**Chapter Nine: The Night Goes On**

"And I can't stand the pain.  
And I can't make it go away.  
No, I can't stand the pain.  
How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream,  
How could this happen to me?"  
-Simple Plan, _Untitled_

"_Wake, Lily," says a voice – quiet and polite, but so chilling her blood turns to ice so surely that she can feel her arteries and capillaries expand._

_Lily's in her bed, yet she knows she's dreaming. Everything has such a surreal feel to it. This isn't real, just the way Lucius didn't _really_ try to…well, that was just a part of her dream. The Hogsmeade trip hasn't happened yet. When I awake, everything will be fine._

_"Are you certain about that, Lily Evans?" the young man asks, towering over her bed._

_There's now a mocking smile on his breathtakingly handsome face with the high cheekbones and pale skin and dark waves of hair._

_Lily's hand gropes her bedside table for her wand. She doesn't know who he is, yet she has a feeling…_

"_Tom Marvolo Riddle," he says, by way of introduction. "Although you may know me as Lord Voldemort."_

"_I spit on you, _my lord_," she hisses, trying not to reveal to him the fear flooding through her heart._

_His laugh holds a creepy edge reminiscent of his vile, high-pitched voice, and the hairs rise along her skin. Her hand stalls, and he reaches out suddenly, his venomous, long fingers brushing her shoulder, which promptly becomes numb, and then the feeling just seems to leave it. Her hand drops. How can dreams feel so real? Or _is_ this real? It can't be! Voldemort doesn't look like this. How can he have gotten into the castle while Professor Dumbledore is still alive? What if he…no, it can't be…nobody can kill Professor Dumbledore; he's far too powerful._

"_Yes, your dear Professor Dumbledore is still alive," Voldemort says. "As are all your other professors."_

"_Then you couldn't have gotten in here!" she tries to exclaim. _'Somebody help me, please. Amirah! Chelsea!'

"_Do you think your friends can really help you against the most powerful wizard of all time?"_

"_You aren't," Lily manages to gasp. "Professor Dumbledore is." _

_He ignores her and once he seems certain she cannot move, the handsome, young Voldemort kneels on her bed._

"_Malfoy was a fool," he says lightly. "I'll deal with him later. I can never put up with people failing."_

_His hands tear off her pajama pants and she screws her eyes shut and draws in a deep breath, unable to move, most of her muscles paralyzed. Her mind seems to be functioning properly, but she can't break away from him! What can he gain by doing this?_

_She hears his clothes rustling and feels his weight pressing onto her. Her heart quickens with fear, and yet none of her other muscles respond to her brain's silent plea to move and allow her to escape._

_He thrusts himself into her, and her body is ready to split from the agonizing pain of her tissues being ripped as he ravages her, stripping her of the virginal purity associated with her namesake._

_Then he's gone with a swish of his cloak and she lies silent, breathing heavily. In her dream, she lies there for hours until midnight perhaps…_

_A cramp-like pain seizes her abdomen and she grimaces and clutches at her stomach with a gasp. A strange feeling runs through hers stomach, almost as though she's lost control of her bladder. Liquid trickles out…_amniotic fluid _It's followed almost immediately by what seems to be blood. Lily cries out and feels her consciousness seeping out of her like this blood…_

Lily awoke, feeling an ache in her abdomen and soreness in her nether regions and breasts, and numbness in her arms and legs the way she would have if she had just gotten an injection.

She moved her throbbing head to assess her surroundings. She seemed to be lying in the hospital wing, though how she had gotten there she couldn't say.

Madame Pomfrey bustled in and said briskly, "You're awake? Excellent. Here, take this."

Before Lily could react, she stuffed a foul-tasting potion into Lily's mouth. Lily gagged it down and coughed, her throat and nose burning.

"Wh-what happened?" she managed to gasp.

"You had a pretty bad temperature," she said, feeling Lily's forehead and then her pulse as if to make sure she was still alive. "Your friends got you down here. Good thing, too."

Lily looked to the other side of her bed to see Amirah and Chelsea sitting there quietly, their faces pallid.

"Even though you were mad at me?" Lily rasped, once Madame Pomfrey was out of earshot.

"Don't be silly, Lils," Chelsea reprimanded. "It was a silly little thing. I think your health takes precedence over any little argument we have."

The argument was anything but "little," but Lily was so unbelievably happy that her best friends were talking to her again that she didn't care.

"Oh, before we forget, you have a letter from Petunia," Amirah said, unfolding it and handing it to her.

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm sorry I didn't write in so long! Then again, you haven't written in a while either. This isn't done, Lils! If we don't keep in touch now, what will happen when you graduate from school and I from the university? I don't even want to think about that possibility._

_I'm still living here with Amanda. She's my friend, so it's fun being flatmates, but not nearly as much fun as it was living with you. Honestly. Archie asked me to move in with him, but I refused because it didn't feel right. Before you write back asking why, here's the reply:_

_We went to watch a very popular but rather boring new movie called Star Wars or something of the sort. It wasn't so bad, however, because I could spend my time admiring the very attractive Luke Skywalker (played by Mark Hamill)._

_The point is, I felt really guilty for letting him take me to a movie, but afterwards, I broke up with him. I don't think I care for him anymore, Lils. I suppose I just got used to having him as my boyfriend. I feel so free and yet empty now that he's gone._

_What about you, Lily? How are things with you and Lucius? Write back soon or I'll have to come over and drag you out of that school of yours!_

_Love,  
Petunia_

Lily cast away the letter and shut her eyes, not wanting to think about Lucius for even a moment.

"Are you all right?" Amirah asked with concern.

"You were all right about Lucius," Lily said, "but he wasn't like that before, I swear!"

"We believe you, Lils," Chelsea said. "But please, let's not talk about him right now. Guess who has been here, refusing to leave your side?"

"Who?" she asked tiredly.

"James," Chelsea responded. "We practically had to drug him to force him to go and get some food."

"Wait, how long have I been here?" she asked, bewildered.

"About three-and-a-half days," replied Amirah.

"Three-and-a-half days?" Lily exclaimed, pushing herself up despite her numerous aches and pains. "Then what's the date?"

"Fourth November, nineteen seventy-seven," Chelsea said.

Lily groaned. "I've missed so much preparation for N.E.W.T.S! And my Head Girl and clinic head duties! What about those?"

"Relax, Lils, you're sick. You need to rest a little bit. If you don't, how can you get better?" Amirah questioned.

Lily shrugged.

The door the hospital wing flew open and James Potter swept in, his face ashen.

"You told me you would warn me!" he exclaimed to Amirah and Chelsea, enraged.

"Calm down, mate," said Sirius, alarmed, as he rushed in behind his friend, followed closely by Remus and Majed. Alice and Cerise came next, with Cerise dragging Trevor along. Peter and his girlfriend, Helga, brought up the rear.

"We wanted to let you eat in peace," Amirah explained, her tone soothing.

"Plus, we needed some time to talk to her too," Chelsea reminded him. "She's our friend too, remember?"

Lily looked away. It was sweet – and a little scary – of him to care this much about her, but it was far too soon. She couldn't bear the thought of something like what happened with Lucius happening again. It still felt so unreal after even three days – granted, she was unconscious most of that time. It just didn't seem possible that he could have turned out to be so cowardly and so horrible.

"Yeah, I guess," he said somewhat grudgingly. "How are you feeling, darlin'?"

"All right," she replied.

"Has her temperature dropped?" James asked, directing the question to Amirah and Chelsea.

They both nodded.

"She's really weak, though," Chelsea said.

"She looks weak," Sirius commented. "You hungry, Lils?"

"Not really," she lied. The truth was, she wasn't in the mood to eat.

"Come on," Cerise spoke up. "You'll kill yourself by not eating."

The door to the hospital wing opened, and all of them looked up. Professor Dumbledore walked in, not looking surprised at seeing so many people crowding around Lily's bed.

"How are you feeling, Miss Evans?" he asked.

"Much better," she responded.

He smiled. "I hope you wouldn't mind if I borrow Miss Gavankar and Miss Tamblyn," he said pleasantly.

"Not at all," she said.

Madame Pomfrey bustled in just then and gave a start.

"What are all of you doing? Miss Evans needs her rest. Out, out! All of you!"

"But – " James began.

"Why not let him stay?" Sirius asked. "He won't disturb her. He'll probably just watch her sleep."

"Actually, I sleep best alone," Lily said nervously and quickly. She probably wouldn't be able to sleep at all without him there. Imagine what it would be like if he were there. "Sorry. I'll talk to you when I wake up."

"All right," James said, seeming hurt.

Lily pretended she didn't notice and turned onto her right side, away from them, and watched out of the corner of her eye as they left, James very halfheartedly and Sirius crossly.

"What's her problem?" she thought she heard him say. "You saved her life, mate."

Had he told everyone in Hogwarts about that! But maybe not. Sirius and James were so close they were practically attached at the hip.

Professor Dumbledore strode swiftly to his office and both young ladies followed. Amirah had a slightly easier time, due to her longer legs, so Chelsea had to scurry very ungracefully to keep up.

"Chocolate Frog," said Professor Dumbledore, and a stone gargoyle sprung aside. Stairs spiraled up as the girls watched, shocked.

"Please don't tarry," he said, ushering them onto the spiraling stairs, which took them up to a door.

He opened the door and shut it behind them. Chelsea gazed around. So this was Professor Dumbledore's office – this odd place with the pictures on the wall and all those trinkets lying about. A beautiful phoenix swept through the air and landed on Professor Dumbledore's shoulder.

"Yes, my office is a bit eccentric, but I have rather eccentric taste," he said with a twinkle in his eye, as though he had known what she was thinking. Then, his tone becoming more serious, he continued, "I'm sure both of you know why I called you here."

As if to answer his own question, he carefully placed a basket on the table.

"What happened that night, professor?" Amirah asked quietly.

"I believe it was a Trust Spell and then a Dream Spell," Professor Dumbledore responded.

"Wouldn't she have known he was performing a spell?" inquired Chelsea.

He shook his head. "A Trust Spell is performed when someone tells a witch or wizard that she trusts him, and means it."

"I don't understand though," Chelsea said. "Where did she come from?"

She stood and peeled some of the cotton blankets away from the basket to reveal a beautiful baby face with strands of silky scarlet hair covering the top of her head.

"Lily wasn't pregnant," Chelsea continued. "It would have showed if she had been. Plus, she's told me so many times that the lily flower represents purity and that she will remain chaste until she gets married."

Chelsea blushed at the last part because it was so incredibly embarrassing to tell her headmaster about one of her best friend's thoughts about losing her virginity.

But Professor Dumbledore just nodded soberly and said, "Lily is a good girl. She's also an incredibly powerful witch. For this child to have been born in such a short amount of time, the father would have to be nonhuman, yet close enough that his impregnating her didn't kill her."

"Who do you think it was?" Amirah questioned. "Let's see. It had to be someone nonhuman, able to sneak into our dormitory at midnight, rape her and impregnate her in a way that caused her to give birth almost immediately, and then leave the school before anybody realized anything had happened. That narrows it down to…well…nobody."

"Actually, there is someone," he said grimly. "Voldemort."

Both ladies flinched, Amirah from a lifetime of hearing about him, and Chelsea from six years.

"Once again, how did he get in and out?" asked Amirah.

"That's where the Dream Spell," comes in," Professor Dumbledore responded. "If she invoked the Trust Spell, it would be so simple for him to enter her dream and come here and then leave the same way."

"So she thinks it's a dream?" said Chelsea, trying to sort it out in her mind.

"Yes, indeed," he said with a nod. "I don't want you to tell anybody about this, especially not Lily."

"How can we hide this from her?" Amirah asked skeptically as the child began to wail.

She joined Chelsea beside the baby and looked down. The baby girl yawned, stretching her little pink mouth and shifted her chubby dimpled arms before making a small mewling sound liked that of a kitten.

"How can such a pretty little thing be the spawn of Voldemort?" Amirah whispered.

"I know," Chelsea agreed.

"We will keep her here as the daughter of my niece, although I don't have a niece, therefore, I don't have a niece with a daughter," he explained. "When all of you leave Hogwarts, I would really like one of you to adopt her. Neither of you is obligated to, however, and if you don't, I'll find somebody else."

Chelsea exchanged glanced with Amirah. She really loved babies, but with her health situation – which she didn't like to think about, much less talk about – she didn't know if she would be able to care for that child. Plus it struck her as strange to keep Lily's own child a secret from Lily.

Amirah placed a long finger against the child's cheek and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. For a moment, all three of them – four, including the baby – were silent.

"Ill adopt her," Amirah spoke up. "Once we get out of Hogwarts, I'll take care of her."

"You don't have to," Professor Dumbledore reminded her, "and you can always change your mind later."

Amirah shrugged. "I'm not going to change my mind, but all right."

"Excellent," Professor Dumbledore said. "Well, I believe I've kept you for part of your Charms lesson. Be sure to tell Professor Flitwick that you were talking to me."

"Professor, I think you're forgetting one little thing," Chelsea pointed out almost timidly. Amirah looked at her questioningly.

"Did I?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"She doesn't have a name," Chelsea pointed out.

"Ah, you're right," Professor Dumbledore said with a smile. "Why don't you two decide on a name for her?"

Amirah and Chelsea exchanged glances and said simultaneously, "Celina."

"Celina," repeated the headmaster thoughtfully.

Chelsea looked down at Celina. Lily had always wanted her baby girl to be named that, and since this was Lily's child, despite having such a despicable father, it was only fitting that her name be kept "Celina."

"Oh, one more thing," Professor Dumbledore said suddenly, as they began to leave. Both stopped and whirled around. "I want to put you to in charge of planning the Winter Ball this year. That way you will be able to come and help care for her without it seeming suspicious."

"But won't Lily feel bad if she isn't in charge of it as well?" asked Chelsea, feeling even more awkward about the matter.

"She's Head Girl," Professor Dumbledore reminded her. "She has enough responsibility and enough to do, without even considering her schoolwork."

"That's true," conceded Amirah. She looked at Chelsea. "How about it, then?"

"Are we truly in charge of the Winter Ball?" Chelsea questioned.

"Indeed," the headmaster replied.

"All right then," she said finally.

_"Be strong, Lily," says a woman's voice gently. "You must destroy her. It'll hurt you, but you must destroy her."_

_"Who?" Lily calls out, her voice reverberating impossibly around this wall-less, humid place. "Who should I destroy?"_

_"Look inside yourself, but past the love," the voice instructs. "Look to your need to do good."_

_"Please help me," Lily begs. "I don't know what you want me to do. I don't know who you want me to destroy."_

_"You're the twelfth daughter of the First," it continues. "She's the thirteenth."_

_"Are you talking about Petunia?" wonders Lily. "Petunia's older than me. She can't be the thirteenth."_

_"Beware the thirteenth, although she's of your blood. Destroy her."_

_"Destroy her," repeats Lily._

**Sneak-peek Chapter Ten:**

One furious sweep of his hand contacted with Malfoy Junior's cheek. Lucius fell to the ground with a yelp of pain.

"Your foolish son ruined my plans," hissed Voldemort at Malfoy Senior.

"I had no part in this scheme," Malfoy Senior said stolidly, fixing his master with an unblinking eye.


	11. Chapter Ten: So Lonely Inside

**Summary: **Lily Evans has a charming and debonair boyfriend and great friends. But one summer, her life is turned upside down and she can't begin to imagine the ripple effect it'll cause on her life. Meanwhile, James Potter has always had eyes for only her but events cause him to make the heartbreaking decision of forgetting his unrequited love...

**Author's Note:**

**freshie**: Haha, I know. And thanks!

**Celina Black**: Since you're review is so big, I'll have to address it in parts – I love long reviews by the way D. First of all, it's cool. We all get caught up in summery things. I was inspired to write Majed's character because of something Anne Rice wrote in one of her novels (but he isn't just there for the sake of it; he actually has a purpose). I'm glad you liked the prank. I added it to make them more like the Marauders we know and love (despite the things happening in their lives). About the Voldemort-Holocaust connection…I have no idea how I realized it. I just remember telling my friend **AnjaliMalfoy** one day when we were walking to my house (and we saw the love of my life and he waved to me – lol). I know, it _is_ a morbid twist. I don't know where I thought of it. Hmm…maybe that says something about my mind jkjk. Haha. Don't worry, I'm not usually a morbid person.

**Skittles624**: Haha, I didn't want anyone to suspect it.

**Author's****Note** **(2):**

**Chapter Ten: So Lonely Inside**

"If you want to,  
I can save you.  
I can take you  
Away from here.  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there.  
And all you wanted  
Was somebody who cared."  
-Michelle Branch, _All You Wanted_

"And Professor Dumbledore didn't want me to be on the committee for the Winter Ball?" Lily asked indignantly.

"Your Head Girl duties take up enough time, according to him," Amirah said. "We told him we wanted you to be on the committee with us, but like I just said he thinks you're too busy."

"Oh," Lily said, slightly crestfallen. Then again, Professor Dumbledore had chosen _her _as Head Girl. She groaned and tried to get comfortable.

"Are you all right?" Amirah asked, concerned.

"Yes – well – no…" she sighed. "This is really embarrassing, but my breasts have been hurting quite a bit."

Lily flushed as James and Sirius entered the room, but they obviously hadn't heard her.

"You look cute when you blush, Lils," said Sirius with a grin. "To what do we owe that honor?"

"Nothing," Chelsea interjected quickly. "Girl stuff."

She smiled wryly and turned to Amirah, who nodded in agreement.

"Nothing you guys would be interested in," Chelsea finished.

"I'll be right back," said Amirah, excusing herself.

She hurried over to Madame Pomfrey and told her about Lily's ailment.

"Ah," Madame Pomfrey said, knowingly. "They're full of milk. I'll get rid off it when she sleeps."

"How?" questioned Amirah with alarm.

"With a spell," Madame Pomfrey said, then raised her voice. "Now all of you better shoo! Lily needs her rest!"

"We just got here," Sirius said indignantly.

"Out, out, out!" commanded Madame Pomfrey. "Out now, or I'll throw you out!"

"We'll see you later, Lily love," Sirius said, rolling his eyes at Madame Pomfrey.

"Rest, darlin,'" James told her gently.

"Amirah, we've got to report to Professor Dumbledore anyways," Chelsea reminded her. "Bye, Lily. Don't worry, we'll be back tomorrow."

"I'm planning on being up as soon as possible," said Lily, forcing a smile. She grimaced then. "It feels like by cheekbones have been bruised."

"Ah," Chelsea said sympathetically. "Rest up, Lils. We'll see you tomorrow then."

Amirah and Chelsea hurried to Professor Dumbledore's office, Amirah brimming with guilty elation. She adored babies and would be able to care for this one as her own!

"I can't believe we have to keep Celina a secret from Lily, her own mother," Chelsea muttered, shaking her head, so her silky brown hair fluttered.

"Will this make it easier on you?" Amirah asked, her heart palpitating wildly. "Lily may be her biological mother, but _I_ am her real mother."

"You're really into this idea, aren't you?" Chelsea questioned with a smile. "I'm glad you are. There'll be someone to properly care for her."

Amirah nodded and smiled, but the smile was evanescent. Lily loved children too. She had always dreamt of marrying young and having a baby at a young age. Currently, Lily was unmarried, but the child she so desired was there. Yet, she had no idea, and Amirah was basically…stealing this child from her mother.

The thought caused goosebumps to travel down her arms.

"Professor Dumbledore," Amirah said quickly, after entering the office. "I can't do it. I can't adopt Celina."

Chelsea turned to her, stunned.

"I understand," Professor Dumbledore said mildly. "Would you mind telling me why?"

Amirah explained her feelings to him.

"Perfectly understandable," he said, "but telling Lily is out of the question. I'm not sure she would be able to bear it. And wouldn't you want someone who cares about Celina and knows Lily to raise the child?"

"I guess," said Amirah uncertainly. She wanted this baby so much! And yet in the back of her mind it felt wrong. At the same time, she knew none of this was her fault. "All right, then."

"Would you like to feed her?" he inquired pleasantly as baby Celina began to wail.

She nodded and lifted the practically weightless babe into her arms. Carefully, supporting Celina's head, she sat down and took the bottle of milk Chelsea handed to her. Amirah felt her heart swell with joy as she sat cross-legged on Professor's Dumbledore's sofa and as Celina sucked on the milk bottle and swallowed up the milk. The baby held up a chubby little hand and waved it in the air with the adorable awkwardness all babies have.

One furious sweep of his hand contacted with Malfoy Junior's cheek. Lucius fell to the ground with a yelp of pain.

"Your foolish son ruined my plans," hissed Voldemort at Malfoy Senior.

"I had no part in this scheme," Malfoy Senior said stolidly, fixing his master with an unblinking eye.

Lucius glared at his father and wiped blood off the corner of his mouth. Damn that man for dragging him into Voldemort's circle of Death Eaters! If this hadn't happened, he would still be happily with Lily. Then again, it _was _partially his fault for driving Lily away, using his entrance into the ranks of the Death Eaters as an excuse to sleep with her.

"He has never been loyal to me," Voldemort said, lifting Lucius up by the neck. "You _will _be completely loyal to me. Say it, 'My lord, I will be completely loyal to you.'"

"My lord, I will be completely loyal to you," Lucius managed to choke out as Voldemort squeezed his neck.

Disgusted, Voldemort dropped him. "Your damned hormones. You were supposed to be there to take the baby and bring him to me, but that fool, Dumbledore got to her first. You know what that means, don't you?"

"No, my lord," Lucius muttered.

"Well, you'll know soon enough."

"Steady, there," James said, helping Lily up. Her shaky legs gave away, and she almost collapsed to the floor, but he caught her. Chelsea supported Lily from the back.

It was a couple of days later, and Lily insisted on being able to attend her classes, promising that if she fainted, she would agree to stay in the infirmary for a week or as long as necessary. She seemed on the way to fainting now, after trying fifty-odd times to stand and walk.

"Throw your arm over James's shoulder," instructed Sirius. "Use him as your crutch."

She clenched her teeth, trying to rid herself of the pain and did as he instructed. James helped her walk, and they inched out of the infirmary. Her friends, who included Sirius, Cerise (both were extremely polite to each other), Trevor, Chelsea, Remus, Peter, Helga, Majed, and Alice all clapped. Amirah was in Professor Dumbledore's office, although, according to Chelsea, she had wanted to be with her best friends.

"I feel like some sort of freak show," Lily sighed, gazing around at the friends who had accumulated about her.

"We all love you, Lils," said Cerise. "Isn't that right, Trevor, baby?"

"Yeah," Trevor agreed, as though he had known her all their lives.

Sirius rolled his eyes at Lily and said, "Sorry, Prongs. Looks like you've got another weight on your shoulders."

All of them at least cracked a smile at Sirius's pathetic joke.

"Can I ask you something?" Lily inquired of James.

"You already are," he said with a grin. "But go ahead."

"Where did your nicknames come from? I mean, where did Prongs…Padfoot, Moony, and…is it…Slugtail? No wait…" she trailed off confusedly, trying to recall Peter's nickname.

"Slugtail!" hooted Sirius. "It's becomes you, Peter."

"Sod off," Peter said, but he was smiling.

"It's Wormtail," laughed James. "You know what, darlin?' I just may tell you someday."

She honestly didn't know where Prongs, Padfoot, or Wormtail came from, but she had figured out in the fifth year that Remus was a werewolf (hence the nickname Moony).

"All right," she said. "Oh, and James – or, may I call you Prongs?"

"Definitely, Lils," he responded.

"Well, _Prongs_, with the promise that our relationship is purely platonic, I would like to tell you something," she said.

Sirius looked at James and crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow. Lily didn't fail to notice his expression, which clearly asked, _'Can you honestly say yes?'_

James pressed his lips together for a moment, then smiled at her, although it seemed slightly hesitant and wavering.

"Yes," he replied. "I promise you our relationship is completely platonic."

"All right," she said yet again, and smiled back at him. "I missed you a lot when you were upset with me."

For a moment, neither she nor James said anything, but both stood there, surveying each other carefully. Then she turned to her friends and Chelsea, Cerise, Alice, and Helga smiled knowingly. Sirius seemed like he was trying to decide between whether he was excited at the implications or ticked off because she wanted them to be just friends.

"Come on," James said. "Let's get to class."

"Yes," she agreed. "All of you should probably get to class too. We don't want to be late, do we?"

"Well, why ruin our reputation by being on time for once?" Sirius asked lazily.

"Get to class, all of you!" Madame Pomfrey said, coming in. "Now! Out, out! Go!"

"That's one good reason," Cerise said sardonically, without looking at him. She rose, and straightened out her mid thigh-length satin skirt, which looked far too fancy to wear on a regular day such as this.

James walked slowly, allowing her to keep pace with him. He really was an amazing guy. Lily wondered for a moment why she had detested him so greatly in the past and realized she didn't want to think about it.

As he undressed for bed, James had no idea what to feel. On one hand, he had never been so happy with his relationship with Lily. She didn't hate him, and they were friends. On the other hand, he loved her and didn't know if he could bear being just friends.

When he thought back to when he had first begun fancying her, he realized he hadn't liked her at first.

_"Look at that one," Sirius said pointing a finger down the Gryffindor table. Even as first years and newly become friends, they noticed all the girls._

_"The blonde one?" James asked, stupidly, looking at Cerise._

_"No, no, the redhead," Sirius said. "I'm going to ask her out."_

_James eyed her and thought at that moment that she was…pretty, but didn't seem to unique or special. He laughed derisively._

_"Do you think she'd agree to go out with you? She looks like too much of a good girl for that."_

_"You're right," Sirius said. "I'll lure her in slowly. I'll make her jealous and then I'll ask her out."_

Sirius had failed, obviously, and given up as Remus began to fancy her for a while, then it was James's turn. Sure, it had been an immature love at first, but at this point, he knew he really loved her and…well…couldn't live without her.

He banged his fist on his pillow allowed himself to fall flat on his bed, chilly air on his bare back, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to wriggle under the covers.

After several days of getting back on her feet (and James's feet as well since he supported her half the time), Lily saw Lucius for the first time since that day. It seemed as though he purposely went out of his way to avoid her, and upon seeing him now, she felt a pit in the center of her stomach first and then she felt this helpless, intolerable rage boil up and consume her. It made her want to pummel something – namely him, or perhaps even herself for melting so surely under his charm (then again, she _did _believe he loved her).

"He's only a Slytherin," people told her, and she silently accepted it, but inside she knew it wasn't true. He was a human being and he had proved that he had a good, kindly side to him. It wasn't entirely his fault. In fact, it was rather like quicksand. Many people didn't realize they were standing in quicksand until they were up to their waists in it. Then, they struggled and the more they struggled, the faster they were sucked in.

It was the same way with him. The thing that frightened her most about this situation was the fact that Sirius' parents were like Lucius's father. She just hoped and prayed that he wouldn't be as cowardly as Lucius had turned out to be.

Lily also wasn't at all oblivious to the silent plea in James's eyes – a plea for understanding and love, but she had to ignore it because she had sworn to herself not to fall into the same situation again. Sure, James had rescued her, but at one point Lucius would have done so as well.

And now she was so lonely and she couldn't tell a single person about it because nobody would understand. Her heart was broken. She had to do something about it.

**Sneak-peek Chapter Eleven:**

"Why would Lily run away?" Chelsea asked agitatedly.

"I think she's out to short-fuse my temper," muttered Sirius.

"This isn't the time to joke around," Remus reprimanded.

"We care so much about her and she ran away from us?" Sirius continued seriously.

James just sat on a sofa, his face white. "We have to find her."

**Author's Note:** As always, please review and tell me what you think! I have a quick little quiz for you guys:

1) All biases aside, what do you think of Lucius Malfoy?

2) What do you think of Amirah and Chelsea?

3) Who do you think Sirius will hook up with?


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